i still haven't figured out the color of his eyes. when i look into them, i swear i'm staring directly at the sun because they are blinding but just warm enough to make me stay and i can't look away. his lips taste like mint and raspberries and when he smiles at me i don't know to stop my hands from trembling. he says my name so softly i stop breathing but i almost catch my breath long enough to ask him to say it again and again until it's all i can hear. i want to fall asleep to his laughter. i wouldn't compare him to anyone from my past because he is a place i have never been to and he is so intriguing i want to explore his entire being. i want to know what it feels like to have his calloused hands on me and to feel his lips pressed against my collarbones and i want to listen to him talk about his day. i want to see him get worked up when he is trying to say all of the things that he hates about himself and i want to tell him how wrong he is but i don't love him. i don't love him. i don't love him but i want to.