Jan 2015
Hey, it's been quite a while. I reluctantly came across your number, I haven't deleted it yet. I should though. I really shouldn't hold on to the past like a nutcase. Problem is, I can't keep you off my mind. I've tried all sorts of distractions but I can't stop missing you.
Time is never on our side. It will be 3 years and 21 days today since that tragic day. I've tried to call and text you before. But the messages are left unsent and the calls go directly to voicemail. Your mom still pays for your phone, y'know. She wants to hear your voice over and over again through your voicemails. I do too, but the beep after your voice snaps me back to reality.
You're not here anymore. And I know if you are here, you'd smack my arm and tell me to quit being a sap. But gosh, I can't. I miss you. I miss you so much, and I just wish you were able to be right next to me. I've tried everything I could to be selfish and forget you. But I am hopeless and helpless and I feel pathetic and sick and you're my only freaking cure. Nothing else can save me. Please, please come back. Somehow, I just want you to be here with me. I didn't think things would turn out like this and clearly sleeping next to your grave everyday has made me go insane.
I just, I just can't let you go. Quit messing with my head, okay? Come back. I can't go on without you. I am a lost case without you. I am a mess without you. I just can't keep you off my mind. You are my only anti-depressant.
**
Time is never on our side. It will be 3 years and 21 days today since that tragic day. I've tried to call and text you before. But the messages are left unsent and the calls go directly to voicemail. Your mom still pays for your phone, y'know. She wants to hear your voice over and over again through your voicemails. I do too, but the beep after your voice snaps me back to reality.
You're not here anymore. And I know if you are here, you'd smack my arm and tell me to quit being a sap. But gosh, I can't. I miss you. I miss you so much, and I just wish you were able to be right next to me. I've tried everything I could to be selfish and forget you. But I am hopeless and helpless and I feel pathetic and sick and you're my only freaking cure. Nothing else can save me. Please, please come back. Somehow, I just want you to be here with me. I didn't think things would turn out like this and clearly sleeping next to your grave everyday has made me go insane.
I just, I just can't let you go. Quit messing with my head, okay? Come back. I can't go on without you. I am a lost case without you. I am a mess without you. I just can't keep you off my mind. You are my only anti-depressant.
**
