I run from the fear of failing

Speaking bigger than the actions I take
The smile is a perfected performance
To hide from the situations thrown my way
Ditching the people with my future plans
To hide from the world’s unsure
It’s up to me to face the demons
The things that build up outside my wall
Diseases spread from inpatient complications
Killing confidence that allowed my mind to flow swiftly
Pushing away at the generosity of hearts
To run isn't the solution I need

I run from the fear of failing
Tears stream with words that I cannot say
I lose myself in the unpredicted reality
Ghosts of regret attach at the seems
I’m still not letting you in
Mars can burn and crash
Acceptation is an action
I feel the darkness drag me down
Smoke suffocation inflates my lungs

I’m leaving the world tonight
Grasping isn’t a concept I conceive
Left out in the forgotten cold
Running is a self inflicted blow
Breathing is a complicating gesture
Mixed liquids coarse down the curve of my neck
In the wake of my vanishing my heart spurts emotion
Eyes shut without demand
Running seemed so much easier then this
Before the candle flickers out
Companions flow by on clouds of mute
Belonging without inspiration
I can’t outrun memory

I slip into failure
Objects of desire stumble down the cliff of mercy
Sharp edges are in my future
Head hanging I fall
Meaningless everything seems when you're leaving

I run from the fear of failing
Speaking bigger than the actions I take
The smile is a perfected performance
To hide from the situations thrown my way