they say misery loves company
one would find joy in knowing
that others are just as unhappy as they
one would generally want to
overcome depression & misery
escape the treacherous & unforgiving sorrows
but yet somehow..some way
I have grown comfortable
comfortable with misery
comfortable with depression
comfortable with the madness of sorrows
comfortable with pain
I've grown immune -
almost numb
to the darkness
to the pain
it's as if the light never shines
or maybe I just do not allow it
sadness & darkness are like cousins & have made themselves
at home here
they have become
such a comfortable state
comfortable like a cashmere sweater
draped across my shoulders
to protect me from the cold
protect me from the unknown
but something that was once used for protection
quickly turned into something
horrid & threatening
no longer draping across my shoulders, rather causing me to drown without sinking
or dying
but how can something so dark..
treacherous & evil even consider to be "comfortable?"
how did sadness & darkness
become so comfortable?
how can one be afraid of happiness?
I guess it's because I am afraid
of the unknown
terrified of reaching out
I remain in this "comfortable" state
watching others get caught up
by this seemingly alluring comfort
of happiness
and hoping it will soon
find me worthy
and take me upon its grasp
into a new journey of comfort