At times it seems to hard to go on living
Peace, and ease of thought have not yet found me
Sorrow pours, and the skies are unforgiving
Life rains, until I think that it might drown me

I've searched and searched for answers, but there are none
So where am I to turn for what I seek
The promise, and the hope I had, are long gone
What's left inside this shell of me is weak

I don't know how much longer faith can hold me
To arise and greet each day, and try again
Afraid that all this pain that tries so boldly
Will throw my naked soul out in the rain

No shelter from these random thoughts of leaving
That things would work out better, with me gone
But my old friend Guilt, keeps me believing
My death would only leave behind more harm

So I must travel on inside this nightmare
A terror worse because I'm not asleep
This mirror shows me nothing but a blank stare
I've found I've lost the will, to even weep

But crying hasn't solved these problems yet
It only leave the heart that cries, the sad one
It takes my thoughts but won't let me forget
I've tried to live a life, but I don't have one

And knowing the tormented mind won't rest
That empty thoughts and pain, still rule the day
The night allows no sleep, and seems to test
Is there Heaven?, is there God?
from hell I pray.

Dean Evans
4-24-2004