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Jan 2015
Oh this is a confession,
From my empty heart,
I don't love you,
Anymore,
You aren't even my *****,
No, You are nothing,
A friend, worthless, without meaning,
A couple hundred miles away,
Never to be nearer,
But what is this,
I don't want to be alone even still,
You cheated on me, broke me,
And even then, I didn't feel anything,
It will never be the same again,
I tell you this, and you know,
But still you stick around,
I tell you I'll never feel anything romantic for you,
Probably ever, and still... you won't leave,
And I can't keep myself away...
Why?
Because even still,
With all you did, and all I said,
All I've felt, and not felt,
through all our dysfunction,
And our respective insanities,
Still... I don't want to be in the dark,
By myself, with no tent, no light,
No one to tell my scary stories to,
My mind is too daunting, too deep,
Too dank and decrepit, No where to hide,
Just my own monsters to follow my own,
***** little hide,
I'm so angry at myself, for my weakness,
And yet all I wanna do is give in,
I look at your face and say,
To my worrisome self,
Oh that is the kind of girl I wish,
I could  have introduced to my mom,
The dead broad that haunts subtly,
Someone that, I'd be lucky to call mine,
A body so lovely,
Hiding a mind just as crazy,
That I find myself contemplatin'
How,
Even if it was a lie, another lie,
Even if it was a cycle of pain.
But I didn't feel anything the first time,
Why should it change,
No only my pride, lies in wait,
Between you,
And my next mistake.
John Ashton Upston
Written by
John Ashton Upston
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