three years is a long time.
a long time for anything.
three years of pain, fear,
more than a bit of shame?
a ******* lifetime.
three years of breathing
freely being a chore and
dreading being alone and
wishing for dreamless sleep?
a ******* lifetime.
hell never gets any colder,
and it never gets any easier.
some days you wish for it to
stop, for it to be your last.
and how do you explain it?
not wanting to be alive and
not wanting to die, not yet?
how do you tell yourself, one
more minute, one more breath?
one more hour, day, week?
you don't, and you can't.
you just keep doing it anyway.
in and out, step by step, on and on.

forever.