you didn't like the way i answered the phone. you thought it was gross that i like vegetables on my pizza, and you told me i was
alien-looking as a child.
when i sent you a picture of the tattoo i wanted you told me it was weird.
you didn't know it was a tribute to my brother.
you told me what "love" meant sometime before the clock struck midnight  at the New Years Eve party
when everyone was either asleep or adrenaline filled. I went silent for two days afterwards. i didn't understand why our definitions were so different.
i would wince at every kissing scene on the television because they made me feel envious and small and a little sick.
you told me i was being unfair because you were trying to make it right and I decided we would be nothing more than friends. i told you we weren't just friends and we never would be. we were permanently stuck at an in-between. you told me your feeling for me never left and i'd picture you holding my hand. but those images would be shattered when i remembered you hiding in some other girl's bed. you'd always tell me every thought that popped into your head and i found it enduring. i told myself you deserved my ear.
but i really, really hope you have nothing left to say because i am no longer listening.
throw away my photo and cut the blue string that leads to me if you haven't yet. and please stop asking if i miss you because this is me saying...
i don't.