i hate that i’m lying in bed
with a cup of tea
and can see myself in the future
in our bed
with a cup of tea
and you lying next to me
and i hate that i can see myself turning out the light
and laying my head to rest
on your chest
i hate that i can see us sitting at a little round kitchen table
next to the window
you in your black rimmed glasses
scrolling through your phone
me with my hair tied up and one knee draw up to my chest,
eating a bowl of oatmeal as the sun creeps its way
into the middle of the sky
i hate that i can see us side by side
brushing our teeth in a cramped bathroom
in front of a foggy mirror,
listening to music as we get ready for the day
i hate that i can see us walking out the front door,
i hate that i can see us kissing goodbye
because i’m lying in bed
with a cup of tea
thinking about all of this,
thinking about you
yet i’ve already kissed you
goodbye.