today he told me he wants to be with me
and I couldn't tell him the same
I'm looking back and I can't remember
what I did
to seek the eyes of someone greater than me

if we sat together
he'd have to watch the space between us
and if he grabbed my hands
he'd have to bite his tongue
rid his questions
when I pull away

when I return
happy or sad or breathing heavy
he'd have to comfort me
and those questions
there starting to pile up
and then I'm gone again

if we're in a hotel
or traveling the world
he'd have to shield his eyes
when the tears
and the shakes of my shoulders
won't go away

his questions are overflowing and he's ready to burst

I can't let him endure it all
just to be with me
so I tell him this pain
and I'm not surprised when I'm all alone again