Jan 2015
Recently late at night, I find it hard to sleep
Awake inside my mind, there are memories I keep
I hear the distant sounds of all of those who cry, who weep
And those who have no one to call their own
It's caused me to reflect upon this life that I now lead
To close the weathered covers of the books I used to read
I've realized that I am not the only one in need
Although I travel through this world alone...
I peer out of my window, and I wonder what is right
The stars that shine above me, offer not their soothing bright
I see only the cold of space, I hear them in the night
How has this existence come to be?...
Hours pass that seem to me as years upon the wind
No morning light to ease my soul, see sorrow at it’s end
To bask in dawn's warm sunshine, and open eyes again
And bring the life I've dreamed of, back to me...
But nowhere do I feel within my mind, that it will come
I only long for peace of heart, though I have hope of none
The cries of all the lost I hear, I pray their crying done
This sound, it drives me close to nights insane...
Have I already fallen to my last, and worst mistake?
Failing to believe it all, and all that is at stake
I hold my aching head, to quiet sound the lost ones make
What of me I wonder, when it's over, will remain?...
At times I close the window, and I try to hide from this
And grasping for the ring of life, I reach again, I miss
Silence, Ah! sweet silence, my one and only wish
But on and on, the nightmare haunts me now...
Where has love been buried It's silent headstone lie?
Why has sorrow's cruel insistence, been given to I
How can I accept this loss, and listen as they cry
I have to find a way to peace somehow...
If tomorrow just would show her face, I may survive intact
Destroy this endless yearning, how would my heart react?
But tomorrow never comes for me, and chained here by this fact
I only want to throw it all away...
And dash myself from windows edge, to fall upon the stones
The waves to crash up over me, and wash away my bones
Would anyone thus hear my cries, for years, as I have done?
For I can't bear to listen to them say...
That life has not been worth it, this heartless loss of love
Can I refuse to stand here, to be made the victim of
No hope of early morning dawn, just storm clouds from above
Why have I, been chosen as the one?...
To suffer through the endless night, no peace inside my head
And hear the dreadful silence, of the crying of the dead
I fear my written words of prayer to God, have gone unread
And so, I stand at windows edge, alone...
To over and again, be the only one who hears
I've given in to hopelessness, I've lost my fight with fear
Afraid though as I am, they are closer, coming near
The sound is louder than it was before...
Silent sounds inside my mind, I am the Chosen one
The Guardian of Tears, who hears the heartbroken, alone
I cannot see them, but I've realized where they have gone
They beg to me, and claw upon my door...
But if I open up the door, and let them come inside
Insanity may come to me, and here it would reside
And every tear that's fallen will be mine, no where to hide
And all this cruel world's sorrow, I will own...
And so I stand against them, I steel myself from hate
Even through the years now passed, perhaps it is my fate
I've tried to close my eyes, though I know it's much too late
As the Guardian Of tears,
I'm on my own...
Dean Evans
7-7-2010
Awake inside my mind, there are memories I keep
I hear the distant sounds of all of those who cry, who weep
And those who have no one to call their own
It's caused me to reflect upon this life that I now lead
To close the weathered covers of the books I used to read
I've realized that I am not the only one in need
Although I travel through this world alone...
I peer out of my window, and I wonder what is right
The stars that shine above me, offer not their soothing bright
I see only the cold of space, I hear them in the night
How has this existence come to be?...
Hours pass that seem to me as years upon the wind
No morning light to ease my soul, see sorrow at it’s end
To bask in dawn's warm sunshine, and open eyes again
And bring the life I've dreamed of, back to me...
But nowhere do I feel within my mind, that it will come
I only long for peace of heart, though I have hope of none
The cries of all the lost I hear, I pray their crying done
This sound, it drives me close to nights insane...
Have I already fallen to my last, and worst mistake?
Failing to believe it all, and all that is at stake
I hold my aching head, to quiet sound the lost ones make
What of me I wonder, when it's over, will remain?...
At times I close the window, and I try to hide from this
And grasping for the ring of life, I reach again, I miss
Silence, Ah! sweet silence, my one and only wish
But on and on, the nightmare haunts me now...
Where has love been buried It's silent headstone lie?
Why has sorrow's cruel insistence, been given to I
How can I accept this loss, and listen as they cry
I have to find a way to peace somehow...
If tomorrow just would show her face, I may survive intact
Destroy this endless yearning, how would my heart react?
But tomorrow never comes for me, and chained here by this fact
I only want to throw it all away...
And dash myself from windows edge, to fall upon the stones
The waves to crash up over me, and wash away my bones
Would anyone thus hear my cries, for years, as I have done?
For I can't bear to listen to them say...
That life has not been worth it, this heartless loss of love
Can I refuse to stand here, to be made the victim of
No hope of early morning dawn, just storm clouds from above
Why have I, been chosen as the one?...
To suffer through the endless night, no peace inside my head
And hear the dreadful silence, of the crying of the dead
I fear my written words of prayer to God, have gone unread
And so, I stand at windows edge, alone...
To over and again, be the only one who hears
I've given in to hopelessness, I've lost my fight with fear
Afraid though as I am, they are closer, coming near
The sound is louder than it was before...
Silent sounds inside my mind, I am the Chosen one
The Guardian of Tears, who hears the heartbroken, alone
I cannot see them, but I've realized where they have gone
They beg to me, and claw upon my door...
But if I open up the door, and let them come inside
Insanity may come to me, and here it would reside
And every tear that's fallen will be mine, no where to hide
And all this cruel world's sorrow, I will own...
And so I stand against them, I steel myself from hate
Even through the years now passed, perhaps it is my fate
I've tried to close my eyes, though I know it's much too late
As the Guardian Of tears,
I'm on my own...
Dean Evans
7-7-2010
