Dec 2014
Press Play
The world is spinning and if I didn't know any better I’d swear it was ending
Sometimes I still feel like it is
Pause
and the sickness is still there,
throbbing behind my eyelids like waves hitting rocks
time is frozen and I’m forced to feel everything
Play
The world is spinning again but this time in slow motion and I can see every image that ever hurt pass by me,
can feel them being burned into my brain
Rewind
to when it was easier and a couple holding hands or kissing didn't send me into a spiraling vortex of crippling sadness
Fast Forward
to two days from now and it will still hurt but not nearly as much because I’ll probably be high and kissing someone else wishing it was you
Play
but right now I still feel like I’m dying because she’s wrapped around your waist and you around her finger while I’m on the floor in the bathroom dry heaving until I ***** empty pill bottles and my insides rip through my old scars and look me in the eye and spit the truth and I’m screaming louder than I can hear trying to block it out because I can’t imagine a life where I am not her and the room is spinning spinning spinning and the walls are bending like an old bridge in a storm and the floor is caving in and
Stop
The world is spinning and if I didn't know any better I’d swear it was ending
Sometimes I still feel like it is
Pause
and the sickness is still there,
throbbing behind my eyelids like waves hitting rocks
time is frozen and I’m forced to feel everything
Play
The world is spinning again but this time in slow motion and I can see every image that ever hurt pass by me,
can feel them being burned into my brain
Rewind
to when it was easier and a couple holding hands or kissing didn't send me into a spiraling vortex of crippling sadness
Fast Forward
to two days from now and it will still hurt but not nearly as much because I’ll probably be high and kissing someone else wishing it was you
Play
but right now I still feel like I’m dying because she’s wrapped around your waist and you around her finger while I’m on the floor in the bathroom dry heaving until I ***** empty pill bottles and my insides rip through my old scars and look me in the eye and spit the truth and I’m screaming louder than I can hear trying to block it out because I can’t imagine a life where I am not her and the room is spinning spinning spinning and the walls are bending like an old bridge in a storm and the floor is caving in and
Stop
