my feet are cold
but i can't seem to to gather the strength that it takes to go and get a simple pair of socks.

i'm tired
i'm alone
i'm sleepy
and i need to finish my college applications.

why don't i have my life together yet?
why do my counselors expect me to?
i'm just a child.
i still cry when I watch scary movies.
i still need my mom to **** spiders for me.
i still have stuffed animals
and after years of knowing You
i still need Your approval.

i guess it's all my anxiety taking over,
but i've begun thinking about what i'm going to do when i leave,
when You leave.

what will happen?
will i cry?
will You?

i seem to cry lot lately.
i wonder if it has anything to do with our impending graduation.

i've had better days than this.
it's a shame they all involved You.
i'll never be good enough will i?
that's alright.
i've grown accustomed to Your rejection.

sad, isn't it?  
because no matter how hard i try,
all of these ****** poems will always lead me back to You.
i don't think You could care any less.

You make me want to die.