the words cling to my teeth
hold on to my tongue
never letting go,
never letting me go.

the words
that would set me free
and lock you up
behind bars, rotting
the way you deserve to.

but these are the words
I could never utter aloud
to anyone who would listen.

I could never tell my mother
I was drinking that night
alone with older boys
that I accepted the drugs
he handed to me,
seemingly so kind.

I could never let my father hear
how he touched me,
how a man so much older
took my clothes from my body
and touched me in a way
no one gets to touch me.

and so the words sit
inside me
choking me
slowly gripping my thoughts
filling my mind
with swarming bees
and my mouth with blood
the metallic taste
of what he did to me.

I could never tell
anyone who would listen
anyone who could help
I can never tell
I will never tell
I will never say the words.