I can't handle this **** anymore
Constant worrying
Am I good enough?
Do I look okay?
I used to be the type that didn't care what people would think
But now I can't escape it
I used to hide my flaws and imperfections
Now it seems like that is all I have left
Flaws and Imperfections
Nothing ever seems to go right for me anymore
It's like a constant battle to keep on living
I don't know how much more of this **** I can take before I just break
No one seems to notice what I'm going through
Struggling each and everyday to get out of bed
Always wondering if I should be dead
I don't think anyone would even notice if I were to just disappear
Hell, they may even do a little cheer
Like "Yay, the girl with no self-esteem finally left"
"Now I don't have to carry this burden around on my chest"
They won't have to wonder if I'm having a "bad" day
Or if I even want to stay
Stay alive or stay hidden
Those thoughts are forbidden
No one cares how you feel
They just care about what is "real"
No one will notice if you leave this place and never come back
The only thing they'll care about is all the people who will talk smack
They'll talk about how they loved you so much
And offered you help, but you wouldn't take it
No one will even stop to think about how bad you were hurting
All the pain you felt
All the stress that kept building up
No one will stop and think to themselves "Was there something I could have done to make this all 'better'?"
They'll think about the "good" times that you all had together
But it will be too late
You will already be gone
So I sit here and think to myself
"How much more of this can I handle before I break?"
And my answer is -
I can't handle this..