I sewed my lips together so they would never utter your name again
the taste of blood filled my mouth
the year has come  and gone and i still find myself screaming your name in my sleep
i haven't talked about you in a year but your name and brown eyes are engraved into my brain
and i know that i deserved better than i got but sometimes i want to call
sometimes i want to say your name a million times
i tied my hands so they will never touch you
i remember the comfort of your skin
and the softness of your hair
and sometimes i think that nothing or no one will ever feel like you felt
i blinded myself so i couldn't see you anymore
so i couldn't count your eyelashes or the freckles on your cheeks
or watch your lips move as you sang along to a brand new song
i paralyzed myself to keep from running back to you
to stop myself from running to your house and knocking at your door
to stop myself from following you and ending up in the darkness
i did all of this to myself because i knew that this pain would never compare to pain of seeing you and being unable to love you
it has taken every cell of my being to not go insane over you ,
to not go crawling back
i will leave you behind and i will talk and feel and see and walk again
you were the only person i've ever loved but the year has come and gone and so have you