We planted seeds my love
a perennial opens to the mouth of the suns gentle gaze
I haven't seen it
but
It does not take eyes to feel.

Six months passed
Since the last time
my skin broke.
But within time,
I choked.
Hurt skin.
"Cat scratches"
My greatest fear unlatches.
Trembling hands,
Cap off,
one
two
three
four
five
six
Blurry vision,
tired eyes,
One final goodnight.

I'm afraid of life,
Of feeling,
Of loving,
Or needing ,
Anyone for anything.
Faith is not something I  possess,
Too many times it's been put to the test,
It's just not there.
I hide from a person,
I must face everyday,
Because ignoring her,
Won't make my shadow go away.
Slowly I'm committing homicide,
Killing that innocent, loving caring creature,
That once upon a time,
Well,
She was me.
A monster remains in my place.
You'll never see my true face,
For I wear a mask,
A thousand masks,
Masks that I'm afraid to take off,
And none of them are me.
I pretend that I'm in control.
That no one but me is the captain of this boat.
But the truth is...
I'm scared, fragile and broken.
The reality is...
With out you I'll surely drown,
And in a lake of despair,
My soul will be found.
She could be my only chance at salvation.
Standing between me and damnation.
Maybe this doesn't seem fair to unknowing eyes,
But my baby is saving me from what is sure to be my demise.


Rachel Scott