Submit your work, meet writers and drop the ads. Become a member
 
Peppy Miller Dec 2013
This fish bowl I'm in
I am a speck on the bottom of it: I am gullible
Mom tells me I'm special: That's not true
It was all a ******* lie
papers I produce are mediocre
comparatively:  I  don't do jack ****
they make art: speak beautiful words
compose music: research human trafficking
discuss what the person is: what god is or isn't
look into the depths of what it is to be alive
configure ways to improve their environment
discover and decode molecular diffusion
unearth social constructionism
link biomechanics to psychological transfer
is this wall red?
do you think it is red?
is this vein blue?
do you know why it is blue?
is this cup green?
do you care about being green?
is this person yellow?
how is this a historical conflict to be yellow?
is this plaster white?
how can we transform the white?
That's right, now everybody go change the world
dive down to the depths of human evil
your letter of recommendation will get you
real
deep
however I,
I will not even get past the glass
the bowl is too shallow
I figured out bull ******* a long time ago
but not well enough to understand things
It was more one of those move your fins
and then some how you will be able to breathe
That's what happens when you spend too  much
time
inhaling the wrong things
you sink
Peppy Miller Nov 2013
My face must've grew today
As my mask did not want to fit.
'So nice' they say she is
But they don't really know ****.
They tell you you're one way
But you feel another
Constantly lying
For the benefit of others.
The biggest of smiles
Everyone using teeth for their mirror
What do I want?
It's always unclear.
Those wars we fought,
No one came out alive
But my card read medic
Somehow I chose to survive.
Everyone had half a mouth.
I had  only half of one too
It's hard to pick sides when blinded like that
Or hard when both sides want you.
They only needed a moment though
Her niceness was overstayed.
The others all stared with swords in their sides
Feeling as though they had been betrayed.
How can you be such a pinball?
Such a spineless, cowardice tool?
What makes you think you're  alliances to all?
What the hell are you trying to prove?
I was just wearing that mask I had once.
It was more like a helmet I guess.
I don't have a civil duty to any
I'm just trying to stay abreast.
But no one can trust a man who has no enemies.
For he stands for nothing at all.
I was dead all along in the trenches,
For the mask/helmet I had was too small.
Everyone will tell you your strengths
When it's something which they desire.
It's disgusting at best but I never act up
I know you can't fight fire with fire.
So let all the others wave the white flag
See if they can lay down their weapons.
I'm at war with myself but you all are too
One day again, we'll be friends.
Peppy Miller Nov 2013
He is everything they want him to be
He is a boy made of play dough
He acts as though he knows who he is
But they mold him
With their sad hands that want something to hold onto
He is only half
Bones are dense but organs are hollow
He needs someone to fill him up
Where the arrow falls and is picked up again
That's where he finds his next home
His love is never forever
but nothing can be
Maps nor closely watched compasses can lead one to him
He will be strong one day
When he finds his own mold
The one that allows him to enter into the paradox of time and space
To be strung like a bead on a wrist
To sparkle like a star in the night
To be what he wants to be
No longer breaking ties with the ones he loves
But thanking everyone for their contribution
The permanence cannot be
He knows it
He just swells and compresses too often
He cannot crack or they will know he is breakable
But he is mystery in his conspicuous way of teasing
He is self proclaimed intense
He is going to find something, anything
He is my friend
He is parallel with me
He is mouldable
He is human
He is
a masterpiece
Peppy Miller Nov 2013
I should have listened to the words I knew so well
The echo was placed into so many moments in my life
I was ignoring what was right in front of me
Blinded by fear and rose colored glasses
The spinning record showed it's dry sense of humor
Round and round it went
You danced to the riffs, singing each line
I must have been watching it unfold from afar
I never saw it coming

cheated by the opposite of love
held on high from up above
kept my high from the second one
kept my eye on the first one now
take these rings, stow them safe away
I'll wear them on another rainy day


I am bigger than the sound
Peppy Miller Nov 2013
There hasn't been enough time yet
for the cloud droplets to grow into rain drops
and fall all the way to the surface of
the Earth.
Well what can be done?
They must mature.
The cloud droplets have no concept of time
they are influenced only by the
updrafts and downdrafts
we call that entrainment.
Heavy Precipitation ensues
Cloud droplets fall toward the earth
Dissipation: precipitation lightens
Cease
Peppy Miller Nov 2013
At the ripe age of fourteen
she harvest her berries
threw out redemption
the red stain of her fruit oozed
in small dots
as they fell from her branches
and hit the ground.
As her seventeenth birthday came around
the spectrum changed colors
her leaves were all fallen
roots above the soil
branches following the trunk load
birds whispered in her ear
how great it was to fly
how tough to be grounded
She had no view of things
that high up
only watched as they fell apart
below her own limbs
plummeting deep into the soil
where no one would ever venture
Her mind had already betrayed her
battered branches
only the moon saw the beauty of her berries,
leaves, and roots;
so deep once before.
Now in a tangled mess
unable to fly.
The question is answered
in the breaking of another dawn:
If a tree falls in the forest does anyone hear it?
Peppy Miller Nov 2013
That summer of what you want you have.
We walked everywhere our hearts weren't
cutting corners just to feel like kids
I wore your sweatshirt
sleeves rolled.
The gray hitting just around my legs.

Your eyes held mine for too long
as we stepped into the night.
I told you I liked your tattoo with an air
of embarrassment.
You let half of the compliment fall to the ground
while the other half fed your smirk to
full perfection.

The waves got fuzzy and far between.
Hair got longer and shorter all at once.
Button ups and bows sealed our outward appearances.

Big eyes and band tees.
Mosh pits and burritos.
Girls and boys soon to be women and men.
Front porches, steps, and ever turning wheels.

One person would be coming in the front door;
the other would be rushing out the back
with arms full of luggage
luggage containing film from times so separate but
defining to who we were.

Puking in every other sewer we had our minds in.
I would only be able to find you when you were immobile.
Screaming with arms wide open, we would feign at the
sight of others.
Placing diamonds and breaking glasses,
Your pepperonis offsetting my gumdrops .

One of four..wheels
The constellations on my face told you
where your luck might lead you.
I asked you where yours aligned one cold winter night.
I hung up the phone and tried to dull the monologue in my head.

I sat on that same front porch weeks later
bottling that same feeling of anguish
you told me how beautiful I was,
inside and out.

It was always a high dive,
never a wade.
So much to risk
So much to gain.

When you had a cast on your arm,
I poured water down your back
When you slept in my bed for the first time
I think I cried.

Held together by bandages and gum wads
rock and roll and disco
I saw you with my eyes going into the back of my head
You looked at your watch politely and kept moving.

Our lines kept crossing but never touching
One vice presented in front of another
I couldn't tell you how ****** my valentine
was for you, especially when one of us was
making lines with a razor and one of us was
making lines on a bed.

At that point I already knew how I felt but
I still had some growing to do.
No more cutting corners as I couldn't be a kid anymore.
Everything we wanted was no longer there.
The things we wanted all expired and new desires
filled our brains.

You saw so many tears from me
heard enough ******* to fill a pen.
I put my face up to just about anything
but I could never face you.
How many times did we bait our hooks
only to come up with some algae on our line.

I lost my lasagna over you
to a late night phone conversation.
Rumors split my forehead and everyone said to try.
Sand was always getting in my teeth as I worked up the courage
to finally tell you how I felt.
I blew it, mouth full of water.
In that bed where I had mumbled so many gray words before.

I was scared, as always
But you held my hand as we walked down the tracks
of your hometown and spoke of nothing.
The full moon was the only one talking
she told us how she liked our dance together
and no longer separate
Rain hit against the open windows that night
It was autumn.
I had fallen for you once, but I had fallen for you
again.
Next page