Attempting to research healing herbs,
I can't forget your words
Or shake this feeling of self destructive hate.

You told me to accept me,
But I met that angrily
Wondering why my passions less than yours?

Was it you or I to start? Which one had a change of heart? Did I deny the importance of our origin?

When will I forget my ****?
Leave it out there in the pit?
Bending back all my silver spoons..

All they say is: "yeah real cute."
Actions, words, and ideals moot.
It's why I second guessing to this day...

Sat back and just waited still
Spared me of the etox pill
Gave me space to let me find myself.

Outer space ain't big enough,
So you're back to actin' tough
And I seem to meet it all with a big
"*******!"

A dandelion punk,
A ******* ****.
PMA* is all I need.
I'll unearth the roots one day,
Until then, bye.

A note to my students: I'm a little bit sorry at times because our relationship is strained. I love you but I have to take care of you, have to push you, have to enforce the rules.

I would take you in and have a party for you but then you usually end up making a mess.

I'm sorry she is mean to you sometimes. I'm sorry he's not around.

You can come live in my brain and things will be okay there. We can eat poprocks for lunch and sing Christmas carols. I'll teach you how to read and tie your shoes.

I'll sing every song you ever wanted to hear, only if we can stay safe forever. We will skateboard and play cards, chew gum and play hopscotch.
You'll never have to say the word "miss" nor will you have to feel it.

We will speak only our language. We will tap into your fears and your obstacles. Then we'll kick them outta town, like every one who's ever hurt you.

We'll stay 5 and 24 forever but learn so much as we go.
You might forget me, but I won't forget you.

A blanket for you, please cover yourself.
It took so many knots to bring it together.
Now I'm stuck sleeping underneath it, feeling like I cant remember anything but dreams.
It's been in my closet anyways, next to my dying kombucha mother.
They're out of sight, so they are out of mind.
Thank you, I love you but that's only because I know half of you.
I feel better at your house because I have no attachments to your person.
I had one but he has fled now.
Thank you for the blanket Becky, maybe I forgot to tell you.

Year after year
The same thing happens
On your birthday
Blue
Pink
Disgust

I gotta tell you not to miss those times cause we'll be missing our whole lives. If you gain deep sadness for the past it's sometimes greeted with sharp knives.
Like when I learned of **** at native boarding schools or watched a peaceful protest met with fists.
I'm not sure if I should **** myself or grow extremely ******.
I'm paralyzed with grief but need to turn it into action.
I feel as though I've been caught in a great illusion of greed and satisfaction. When distance is measured in numbers, it seems so far away.
But all this **** is here and now, it's happening each day.
Where should I really point the gun and when will I be trialed?
Long before the man who bluffed about abusing his wife and child. Where's the real justice here? In this backwards, ****** up place?
We're forced into such confines due to our gender and race.
Today is the day I break the chains, I think I'm going to snap.
No one's safe until you get out, until then it's all a trap.

It felt like the last time that I would ever experience this again
so of course, I missed it before it even ended
My grandfather sat in the passenger seat
saying he hoped he made it to his sixtieth anniversary
no turning back now, dad
said my own father
we won't live forever my grandfather said
my uncle to my right talked of a man freezing himself
he was coerced he was coerced
he told us, as if it was such a bad thing to be frozen
your brain cells multiply though
don't give her any more ideas
star wars got its ideas from star trek
I will never be this young again
I may never hear these words again
It was a nice time though, just to be

They try to tell me....
because I'm depressed I've got a disease
that there's no one else out there who feels quite like me
that I'm at fault for wearing my heart on my sleeve
these transitional times should just come with ease
But.......
how can you expect me to believe
when we live in a world that neglects history
who puts life behind titles and paid salary
that puts you down if you act or think differently
It's just......
things aren't so great within our own family
we've made want out-weigh personal responsibility
made wars with ourselves because of society
made wars with ourselves because of supremacy
I feel........
like I don't want to commit to this fatality
that the pressure is on to become what they want me to be
that I can't do it because of lack of diplomacy
because of my desire to aid those in poverty
but they say......
**** like that is never going to get you anywhere, honestly
that you should do what gives you the greatest lump sum of money
forget about the low lives, they've chosen their destiny
you have the choice now to become your own entity
But I say...
I know that we all aren't so far from one identity
that we could unite in our sadness and stop living so separately
that there is a way in which we can think optimistically
it just calls for a revolt, something to change drastically