I can't hate them enough to leave
I can't love them enough to stay

fools all gamble with their hopes and dreams
smoking,
drinking,
loving,
sleeping,
wedding,
sexing,
watching,
pleasing,
for nobody's help, and their own loss

idiots.

They lose me,
I lose them
shifty eyes at parties
start closing in

They think I understand
I don't think anybody makes sense of this
hostages of money
yet we spend it like ransom

All their mouths keep moving but there's nothings being said
All their thoughts in a bubble, never leaving our head

All their the smiles keep proving
what we're trying to forget

I don't get these people
because there's nothing to get.

How should I?
The others will see
Weak knees
Tender hands
****** from the work
that leaves me with so little

Covetous ***
and I lust for their life
soaking in the sweat
of my soul's only longing

I put myself to sleep
and have yet to wake up
Smoke and smiles
we all feel our bodies trying to get away
I do it anyway

She likes other music
so I don't like her
Still, I think we're not so different
A body, A soul
wandering all over everything
trying to get out

Lovely melancholy
I embrace the shadows
That have Worn me for years

Perfect worry
I stare at you but not for long
My vision native to the dark

I don't know what you'll find
Behind my eyes
One more kiss
Or one more cloudy sky

I think you're pretty

I hope you stay

You put a little light in my day.

I find myself busy often
I make myself do it
panic in my backpack
I'm a fearful kind of man

I don't see a face in the skies
but the stars are warm enough
breaking bread never cleared my head
it just cleared my conscience

I am the sun
with the world around me
getting tired of the same view

these people talk like broken records
I empathize.
Say strange things and see what happens

Who am I to understand myself?
Who am I to understand the skies?
its a heavy kind of light
that brings to finally to sleep

Let me be
with my nicotine
warm whiskey
and peace

I don't find Him most days
but He leaves me cheerios
on the way to my newspaper bed
I don't know if I love that or hate it

They say the things you do
come back to haunt you
that makes me man
and You the ghost

still,
the only time I feel peace
is when You circle me.

I am not the man my father wanted
I am not as good as him

He is a precedent
that costs me everything
Do I seek fulfillment?
Or learn his trade?

A boy is a man
when he decides who to be.

A man doesn't stumble into form.
He chooses it.

How do I choose with so little to believe?
I see the children
As they tighten their ties
and know, like me, they don't belong in law school

Money has me tangled again
always there, always gone
Money has no loyalty
but neither do I so far

My dad has some money
I feel safer knowing that
but once he's gone
his money won't remember him

Will it fall to the hands of a boy?
or a man?

It's
too
quiet.

Fickle is the word that comes to mind

How fragile is this smile on my face?
out of place
it feels painted
but I believe it
and it believes me

I don't believe myself,
with these sparkles in my eyes
its not like me to feel this nice

I figure it will fade
but each laugh is certain
Like I've tasted something sweet
it whispers I'm still young
that there's light behind the curtain

feeble as each step I take,
could I fall from such high heights?
Is this a new world for me?
is something not right?