I laid down and closed my eyes.

They open.

Brown blurs of dust and memory sweep past as my mind is slowly centered.

A force pulls and I am walking.

Drifting though corridors of clutter, the scenes are ***** and familiar.

A decrepit house from memories past surrounds me and engulfs me whole.

I turn a corner and see her there.

The swirls of dust somehow do nothing to obscure her certain presence.

It is her.

It is her who I have longed for but could not have.

Drifting lazily but surely, I approach and make conversation.

As the words leave her mouth, suddenly everything is different.

The shadows focus and become definite.

The fog in my mind blots away.

As if a crystal clear presence .

Sweeps away the cobwebs from a dusky corner.

I know what I am.

I am a dream.

A dreaming entity who is merciless and invincible.

Her eyes are clearer than my own imagination could envisage and I know.

She is aware too.

A world of mind at my fingertips, a thrilled flourish runs up my spine and the only thing that occurs to me is.

'Run.'

Come my dearest, we must run.

The dream world is infinite.

But only in size, not in time.

My god I love her.

Grab my hand, we must hurry, must rush, for perhaps if this house grows so too will our essence.

My lungs, as they are only neurons, are free and wild and carry my thoughtful limbs to the reaches of my conscious.

We run and run.

Past the doorways and wallpaper imprinted with illusions and dreams blurring past me, I have never felt happier in my life.

I have the layout of the disorderly house of eclectic architecture.

Imprinted in my mind and I lead her around corners and past dark windows.

Photographic bits of floor and wall find my eyes and I take in every detail of them.

She is behind me and we are laughing and whispering and running.

We have stopped.

I have found a room with no other exits.

One door is slightly ajar but it is a nonthreatening closet with an array of fancy santas nestled within the dust.

I shut the doors.

She is in my arms and we are spinning and laughing and darting about the room much like two gleeful fish in an aquarium.

I fall on an aging and very welcoming couch.

In fits of laughter and take her down with me.

Her arms around my back, there is nothing that needs to exist any longer, not the house, not the memories.

Not the walls not even running.

In this dream it is now, it is here that I only wish to be close to her.

Our faces close the distance.

Our hands roam through the waters of conscious and over each other's skin.

Our.

It is our shared mind and shared dreams.

It is now that our souls are truly connected with each pass of the tongue and each glorified breath.

It is now that the house of memories is being weakened with each passing moment in this new situation.

We are an unstable force.

The dream is crumbling.

The edges of our world are closing in with light and the dust swirls madly.

The harsh physical plane is manifesting.

The cool shadows are melting.

I take in one breath.

And you
are torn apart
from me.

tell me when you last felt your heart grow
like it did in front of me
I saw it swell when you spoke
your words would echo like a symphony
twice I paid for bright red yarn
to patch the holes up in my heart
to leave you with a quick goodbye

sometimes the seeds blow away in the wind
sometimes your sewing doesn't stick
sometimes a frost hits the garden
and the air gets very thick

I showed you my home
picture frames and board games
you showed me your home too
light and warmth and life and I knew
I could never leave
I could never leave

Was it the race to be my own entity that launched the first probe?
Curious and wandering what happens to the soul,
Where magic meets reality and the engineer of all things,
Resting at the birth of childhoods end.

With a spaceship ride to heavenly tides towards the event horizon
Born in the skin an astronaut spins deeper into the night,
To find what was and what is and will everything be alright?

Just to sink further in the hope to send
A message to the father.
There's no place like home and in the unknown
Can feel like a memory shattered,
It's a galaxy made of dead star things that build a life of matter.

dipped into the sea
the ocean breathes salty,
sunk into the sand
and floating on the wind.

carried by a drifters song.
and we flow into the other's soul.

like a mystic fire's burn
and it glows,
caught within the makers hands.

travelling down old roads,
bring the dirt to be sown.
marked by days end,
as ancient as man.

and so the story goes.

I am a child
Sleeping in a bed I don't belong in
Listening to the parents talk
About Stocks and Physics and Money and Future
And I hear how I must go to college
And be a scientist
Because that is what Good Kids do.

I am a student
Who confuses my teachers
Who loves learning and hates school
Who loves books  and not letters
Whose friends don't know her and who doesn't make new ones
And fades to the background
And observes from the outside.

I am a traveler
Who was accepted, once
Who walked the streets of Mexico and Germany and England and France
And then it was a dream
And I was at home
Where I didn't belong.

I was a daughter
Who didn't go to college
And saw strange sights and loved strange men
And confused my teachers
And left my parents
And made new friends
And learned about the whole world.

A world I didn't belong in.

But I decided
It's okay.