What would it be like to not be weighted down by fear?
To lift up off the ground, and fly anywhere but here?

To defy gravity at it's core, is the most amazing thing I dream.
But fear is what tethers me to this world, is the way it seems.

In the split seconds that I've cast it aside, I feel like I'm flying.
I feel at home in this world. Strong and courageous. It's undying.

Even now, I still soar above the clouds. I don't have to look down.
No matter the outcome, I've won, for I'm no longer pinned to the ground.

Through all of the darkness that has arisen, I finally see some light.
I can see a resolution. I see myself rising up through Christ.

And should I fail, I've still overcome. For I am no longer afraid.
Unafraid of what I don't know, and accepting of what comes each day.

I imagine this feeling is what it's like to be unchained. Free enough to fly.
It's what I've waited for since my birth. I've anticipated living my life.

Day after day, I watch as you pass me by.
Always afraid to speak, even if only to say "hi."

My stomach sinks when our eyes meet.
I'm shaken to my core, unstable on my feet.

If I could just squeak out a simple hello, I might be fine.
Instead, I gaze awkwardly in torment, barely able to smile.

Whenever you've passed by, I feel my hope slip away.
As if I'll never speak a word to you; failing day by day.

It kills me to be so weak, to not go after the things I want.
It's like I'm ******* in a web. I feel so helplessly caught.

Will I ever be brave enough to speak? Or forever remain mute?
Always terrified of failure, I've not the strength for pursuit.

I feel like a wall without mortar; too fragile to push, too strong to move.
Both outcomes are the same. I'm so terrified, I always lose.

Am I truly free? Or am I still enslaved?
Enduring sleepless nights, dead through half the day.

The bonds and chains were broken. In Christ, I'm alive.
Yet I hesitate in fear, only to pretend to live in my mind.

Every scenario, good and bad, all play throughout my dreams.
But when will I finally gather the courage to face all of these things.

When will I release? When will I unbound myself from fright?
When will I see this through? I desperately await the day that I might.

I'm so sick of all the secrets, of all the little white lies.
I'm sick of holding myself down, of restraining my every cry.

Dear God, give me strength! Another way to be strong.
Permit me to prove to myself that I won't be weak for long.

Lord, please be with me as I endure this struggle. I need you here and now.
I feel like a slave to fear. I cannot live my life. I feel I'm fading out.

I've always wondered why I'm here. What's my reason?
What was I created for? My existence feels out of season.

All I want to do is help, but this world would have me destroy.
Every step I take, impeded. And I feel so annoyed.

But every time I let You work, I feel like I'm in place.
Every time You work through me, I see my true face.

I hear a call, but I'm not sure if it's really you.
A call to do Your work, but is this call true?

Lord, I've heard You. And I submit. For You, I give up my life.
Take my body, cleanse my soul. This heart was never truly mine.

I answer Your call with a reverberating "Yes." For You, I die.
I learn to spread these wings again. God, I promise I will fly.

I may be scared day to day, but I know You'll lead me straight.
And I will follow Your inevitable will with my undying faith.

How many times will I lie and say I'm fine?
Put a smile on my face and pretend I'm alright.

No one knows the difference. I'm too good to fail.
Who will see through the mask? See that I am frail.

I'm so afraid to ask for help. Too proud to tell the truth.
Yet I want so badly to try. But I'm far too hesitant to move.

Every lie just piles up with the others. Always bringing me down.
I feel like the king of sorrow. The scars inside are my crown.

I wish someone would find me here and pull me from this hell.
I wish I wasn't so proud and afraid. All I want to do is yell.

I'm not sure where to turn anymore, and I honestly don't care.
I hate my own apathy. I'm so tired of the fact that I'm scared.

But oh, how I lie. I pretend that I'm still fine.
As if no pain surrounds me. Truth is, I wish I could die.

How long will I refrain, and sacrifice my heart?
Afraid to let love in. Terrified I'll be marred.

Hesitating from every whim, I freeze and then I flee.
Thinking it's impossible for someone's love to ever find me.

I want it but I don't. My heart always seems to break.
I lose myself and all control, and quickly become fake.

But why am I so scared? Why is this fear so strong?!
Why am I always running, instead of continuing on?

Someone always takes my place whenever I lock up.
Always feels like I've lost a race and lost the right to love.

I follow my heart, wherever it leads. But I fear it's going to break.
So I hold back and hesitate, sure that it's my certain fate.

So when will I finally give it my all? When will I stand up and try?
When will I finally say what I want, and finally **** all of the lies?

He stands alone, because all he sees is pain.
He falls to his knees, defeated, surrounded by the rain.

He wanders aimlessly, unsure of who he is. Fighting to get by.
So many answers to a single question. "God.. Who am I?"

"You are a vessel for my love", the truth that rings loud and clear.
"Me? Why? Couldn't you find someone better? Someone without fear?"

He doesn't feel strong enough. Not ready for what's to come.
Too impure to save. Too lost and confused to truly love.

And maybe he is. Maybe he's broken, confused, lost, and dark.
But His eyes still fall upon him, running. No matter how far.

So I answered the call. Completely unable to escape.
And I'm scared every day. Deathly afraid that I'll fail.

We live like we're broken, unworthy, and lost. And, well. Maybe we are.
But isn't it beautiful, the way we break our hearts? The way we fall apart?