Be my 2 pm thoughts,

When I'm wondering,
If you are doing fine,
Have you eaten your lunch?
How's your day?
Are you tired? Or sleepy?
Have you got enough sleep last night?
What are you having for lunch?
Are you thinking about me too?

Be my 2 am thoughts

When I'm wondering,
Do you love me as much as I do?
Are you dreaming about me?
How do I look in your eyes?
Do you miss me?
Do you know that I love you a bit too much?
Do you know that I'm so grateful to have you in my life?
*Do you know that you are exactly what I've been looking for?

He kissed her hand,
She never knew that it would make her feel like a princess in a god-**** fairytale.

He kissed her forehead,
She never knew that it would make her feel so loved.

He kissed her cheek,*
She never knew that she would be falling this hard for him.

breathless
you can even hardly breath,
because of the pain in your chest..
.
.
tears rolling down,
and you start to shake
you can't take this **** anymore..

sore
you feel your chest gonna be exploded,
all you can do is crying..
.
.
you already hit the ceiling,
you're so furious,
and you wanna hit the wall,
with you bare hands
-it doesn't hurt though, *if you compare it with your heart now

He thinks, you will never leave him..
ooh, I beg your pardon, mister..

*she will.. she will..

We all deserve somebody who makes our life worth living.

Don't settle.
Don't let somebody makes you feel bad about yourself.
Always remember, if somebody really loves you, he will stay.
Don't bear because you are lonely, bear because he worth your time.
Don't settle because you are afraid that nobody will ever love you the way he does.
Believe me, if he really loves you, settling or not won't ever be an option for you.
Just wait and see, somebody will suddenly find you, maybe in your darkest time, and he will love you. Much more than anyone ever did.
Just remember, you don't deserve a gloomy stormy night. You deserve a beautiful sunny day.
Love yourself, more than you love anyone else. Don't ever lose yourself.
Don't change for anybody. Change for the sake of yourself.
Smile more. and breathe.
Your mistakes don't define who you are. If they judge you, just don't give a ****, you don't need to waste your time for those negative people.
When you have options, choose the one that you can't live without. Not the one you think is the less risky.
Follow your guts.
You don't always need to know the reasons why.
Don't think too much, everything will be in the right place at the right time.
Pray to God for everything you've got today.
Be grateful.

It is what it is. Move on.

Falling for you is like free falling.

I couldn't help it,
I couldn't control it.

I don't wanna stop.

But then,
I always come up with an idea
That love
Is never worth to write about.
Love
Is all that destroys you
Love
Is all that drains you

All the pain
& the bitterness
is always because of
Love.

I blew dandelions;
In a meadow here we are.
In love.

What else I could wish for?

I blew dandelions;
Without saying any wishes,

Call me naïve,
But if I had you,

what else I could wish for?

I want to wake up in Singapore.
Open my window and feeling the hot Sun on my face.
Thank God it's a clear blue sky. No haze, no anything.
Just a really hot Sunny day.
I order dumplings, char keow teow and teh peng in one of the hawker place.
What a pleasant breakfast before I walk into a local coffee shop to sip a glass of iced Caramel Macchiato.

I want to spend an afternoon in Volendam.
Feeling the ocean breeze & the Sun on my face.
I want to eat fresh Seafood platter & a bottle of beer for my lunch.
& walk around the local shops & buy cute souvenirs.
I will take a break and sitting by the deck. In quiet.
Even everyone around me is pretty loud.
I think I will live here when I get old.

I want to spend an Evening in Rome.
Just walk out from the Vatican, and now I'm in Rome.
I want to ride my bike to the wondrous Fontana di Trevi
I will get there before the Sun in down so I have the chance to take photos before everything gets dark.
I'm not going to throw pennies on it. No.
I will only see the magical statue & lick my Gelato over here.

I want to spend a night in Paris.
It never be my first love,
but when I step my foot for the second time,
seeing all these beauties, I fall in love.
I fall in love with their arrogance & their ignorance.
It would be a cold night, with a little bit of drizzle.
It's what they always said right?
Rainy midnight in Paris is always magical.
I will get a nice dinner near the Eiffel Tower,
leaving myself in awe,
sipping my red wine,
before I finally walk to the Icon of Paris.
Maybe I will take a boat tour, maybe I just will spend a night at one of the parks, looking at the Tower.
Before finally, I walk to one of their antique yet beautiful shophouses.
& call it a night for today.

It is always a perfect sunny day before a dark stormy hurricane.

Love is always the prettiest right before you finally disappointed, again.

I don't know whether it is the empty street,
Or the empty heart,
That makes me feel so lonely.

I don't know whether it is the cold wind,
Or the uncertainty,
That makes me feel so dizzy.

I don't know whether it is the rainy days,
Or this pain in my heart,
That makes me feel so cold.

All I ever know is I love you.
& that's the only thing that matters right now.

Sometimes
love means taking a step back
or two.

There is nothing
in this world
that is meant for you;
can be taken from you.

if it is meant to be;
then it will be.

Shoot your gun on 05.40,
then it will says:
"Happy 1/4 of Century"
to you.

Open the book,
& I wrote "Serenity Prayer" to you.
Godspeed, man!
take it as your guidance, as your life shelter.
as God will always be with you.

Big balloons of 25 will be waiting for you in your room,
while your Mom talks to you,
I will inflate it,
pick up your Strawberry Cheesecake &
your gift.

Nothing special really,
I give you customised embroidery art of
"Aquila" Constellation.
& Dylan Blue, as you want me to pick up a perfume for you.
So, Versace it is.

I never really thought,
there would be another project.
But pardon me & my brain, they keep rambling about ideas
& I cannot stop myself from doing all of these things.

This is not just for you.
but also, this one is really for me.

XOXO,

Life taught me hard,
To love myself more,
To stand alone,
& To be enough with myself.

I learn to take care of myself,
Even if the world is against me.
I learn to enjoy myself more than I am with people.

I learn to prioritize my insanity than anything in the world, just because I deserve to be the priority of myself.

I am the one that all I’ve got.

All I have is myself.
& That should be enough.

A long walk that night,
Guide me to a place
That I’m not too sure whether I should step in or not.
it is Aphrodite’s temple.

I start blabbering about love.
All of my theories;
All of my beliefs.
She listens without any word comes out from her mouth.

It continues;
I strategically points out those rhetorical questions that I know I didn't need her answers.
I tell her about the pain;
And those broken hearts;
That love lies.
It hurts;
And it destroys.

But again, I didn’t need her answer.

I said, I once believe in love.
But when I talked about love, how can I forget the pain it follows?

and.. if she’d ever lose again,
for the second time;
to the same woman.

please tell her,
that he doesn’t deserve her.
please tell her,
that he is not the one.

please let her cry;
but again,
tell her,
that he is not,
and will never be
the one.

How dare I dreamed about you last night?*

I scrolled through our conversations 5 years ago as soon as I woke up.

I read our fights and finally, our goodbyes.
It funny that I still felt the pain.

I told you in one of our last conversations,
that "I regret all those 2 years with you, & if I can go back I will not waste my time to be with you."

I lied.

You are one of the best things that ever happened in my life.
You are a sure thing, hurt me so deeply; but you are the lesson that I glad that I went thru.

I enjoy every second with you. & I did love you so much.

You are irreplaceable.
& I have no regret, none at all.

As far as I can remember,
8th of May was my unlucky day.
I found myself awake, up all night
4 years ago
With tears in my cheeks;
Looking at the window,
looking up to the stars.
giving up.
Love was never really worth the fight
At least, that’s what I thought that night.

4 years later,
today
When I thought that I have found someone that completely know me,
& love me,
Turns out,
Today, I also shed a tear.
Maybe today is as disappointing as 4 years ago.
Maybe love is never really worth the fight.

2019 almost come to an end.
-
This year,
I start off with some things that are new in my life;
a boyfriend, a new business & a partner.
& also I realised things that I forgot these past few years.
to not take things for granted & be more grateful,
to cherish & finally read some books,
oh, and to write.*
& I want to end this year well.

I have a letter for my 25-year old me that I wrote 5 years ago;
& surely I will updated it next year,
I will talk to 19-year old me; update her with my life.
Well, I got 7 months to do some heroic stuffs so she won't that disappointed with 25 year old version of herself.

Time do flies.
& sometimes I don't know how I got here.
I don't know how I finally can overcome my problems back then.

2019 is a much better year.
but yet, I haven't get used to this adult life.
I ramble for no reason & I got no point.
I just updating about how 2019 treated me.
I'm still hanging, guys.

When people change,
and the feelings fade,
Everything is not in your favour anymore,
and you can't even compromise,

Would you stay for the sake of your comfort,
& tolerate even if it is hurt?

Or would you get up,
and move on?
.

We have been really caught up in the World these days.
All we’ve been watch or read or think about are all about terrors;
wars;
tragedy.

We let our mind busy,
We let ourselves think & worry too much.

We often forget that we need to feed our mind to keep it sane.
We deserve to get our time alone,
To just breath, to just contemplate about life.
To seize the day.
To be grateful.
.

Both are speaking in two different language.
Nothing really connects.
Both cannot put themselves in each other's shoe.

It has no rendezvous.
then, what for?