How nice to be a balloon
floating on a young ones wrist
How I'd like to be a balloon.  

They float for some time, and then happily deflate
leaving there rubbery reminisce
For the young one to toy with
And stretch to it's limit
Or they might keep the balloon close
like some long lost friend

Unless, you're the sad balloon
who's string is dropped
and floats way up high
away from the happiness
away from the child
well
away from the tears of the young ones loss
who wishes only for the balloon
who's already lost.

I say:

I want you as a cloud is wanted
Wanting to see it drizzle,
Wanting to get wet, then, let go
I want you with a desire I never had before,
grey, as the swirls of snow
that melt in your belly.

I want you, with half of my willing
With my consciousness in the air
and my feet on a burning plain,
with my eye-lid attached to the lily,
and my soul, made into a wave of broken glass
That undoes,
and does, undoes
and does...
undoes...

I want you like the sea foam is wanted
Wanting to imprison it in my fist,
a fist where storms slip, but it catches the howling
a fist that destroys everything
but can't own anything

I want you as the hurricane wants
to stir the nest on the back of your neck
where your secrets huddle

but in this tremulous current
I'm leaving the flesh, I'm leaving the blood
Not the heart
For I see how it sets on fire what it pleases
It undoes, and does
undoes and does
undoes...

You are water
You are salt
You are river
You are sea
You are chalk
White pond on the skin
solemn oath of love

But who are we trying to fool?
Who's gonna carry the dead on the hands?
Who's gonna bear a winter all year?
Who's gonna blink during the summer?
Maybe tomorrow, it's gonna be me
So, for today,
I'm gonna have to say no.

You say:
"What about next wednesday?"

Maybe next wednesday.

On a temporary dusk,
The sun may bleed but not die.
On a fight between angels & demons,
None of the spirits sigh.
A cucumber moon melts on a dawn,
And become a bodiless beauty.
It will fall in the arms of the river bed,
Re-unite with earth on its divine duty.
A brighter sun re-appears one gay morning,
It’s timeless journey to death cave.
Another world turns around,
Life & death altogether spun on a magical wave.

Pop*
     Goes the cap on this small, oblique, orange bottle.
     Out come the shapes.
     In my mouth they go.
     Water.
     Cringe.
     Something sweet to aid.

     A glance in the mirror.
     “God you’re ugly.”

     Goodnight.
     Try not to cry while you sleep.

I hate this
Cage
This
Prison
I thought I broke out of.

I hate this
Feeling
This
Apathy
I have for the world

I hate this
Never ending
Sickness
That has dictated my brain.

I hate this
Life.
This
Place.
That I have trapped myself in.

I hate being
So different
That
I go unnoticed.

I hate being
Pushed aside
Because
Of the gem that is my sister

I hate being
Pushed down
Because
I speak out.

I hate being
The villain
When the world
Wants heroes

I hate
Smiling
Because
It seems like there's no reason to.

I hate
Sitting down
When I should be
Standing.

I hate
Mostly everything
Because
I just don’t see the point
In accepting

Anything less than perfect.

we spent the day believing in the future
we didn't set our clocks strange
but just spent our future time void of frivality
We lived intentionally,
As if tomorrow was our last
We jumped right over the present and started living it.
We ate our last dumplings
Kicked our past pile of grass clippings
Pulled a tick out of your dog
Bought the last box if bandaids.
You said we were going to need them to cover up all our mistakes
I hoped we'd save a few to push the broken bits of my heart back together.
we both hoped for scars
Reminders to the future
That at one point
We lived