for the past months
the thin veins in my arms
have been ruptured and scarred
due to unhealthy habits of distasteful breakdowns.
drunk on absolute insanity
intoxicated from the feel of misery
i always hope for this to take it's last turn
unfortunately it is one straight road
a long road of wretched nights and messy sinks


- m.n.

"it’s all good."

*— J.A. Williams, excerpt from “Things poets never say”

Do you understand what it's like to feel this way? I know it's so mixed up.
I stood so alone in the freezing cold weather and I missed them.
I missed all the lovers that stood with me there before hand
and I wanted to have them back there with me but I couldn't.
No matter how hard I wanted them there, they were gone.
And you know what?
They're still gone.
And where am I?
Here
Alone
And now there's you
and I don't know if I want there to be a you
because with you
comes trusting someone
new
everything is new and exciting
and i love it
but
I've been hurt so much
so many times that I have
inevitably
lost count
How can I trust you
when I don't know if I can even get close
How can I
How can I trust you?
It's all mixed up.
It's all mixed.

No te dejo de querer,
a pesar de tu viaje,
y de tus pocas palabras.

Sigo viéndote de vez en cuando,
tu sonrisa es más bonita en persona,
pero igual tiemblo.

Te fallé aquél día,
regresé tarde y,
nada fue lo mismo a partir de entonces.

Sueño sin dormir,
en como será tú regreso,
ni siquiera creo que vayas a volver.

Sigues siendo mi dueño,
está tu voz tatuada en mi mente,
lloro cuando recuerdo que no estás presente.

I feel sad
last night went bad
my mind kept remembering
and i could have died of sorrow.

It is over
i must understand
but will stay here, everynight
waiting for your empty words
so i can die a little more.

The sadness isnt cruel
to survive, there's certain things to do
If only it would leave me
Because i only have room for you

Sí me gustas, pero me gustas poquito.