i try to write about you
but i can't
there's not a single word
that can describe how i feel
i just miss you

i miss you

i’ve been sitting here
for more hours
than i can count on one hand
attempting to describe the way
i can feel my chest crushing into pieces
in a poetic way that sounds beautiful
but this isn’t beautiful
this is a ******* disaster
you are a hurricane that is destroying me
you are the coffee that slips out of my hand
and stains the walls when i’ve spent hours
and hours cleaning
you’re a ******* ******* natural disaster
laced with irrationality and mood swings
and you are killing me

you
are
killing
me

you have a reputation
for being a bad boy
for tearing girls down
and baby, i thought
i'd be different
that i might be the good girl
that can sway you over
and baby, you were
just that much stronger
i drink now
and i lie now
i foolishly trust now
and i even curse now

i wasn't like this
before you