for the first time in a long time,
i saw the difference in the
color green.

trees stretched further
than I could tell,
fresh crisp rain,
that woke me from
my fog.

from the green mountains,
to the evergreens,
and all that runs between.

cloudy nights drive
the morning light.

Laying in the dark,
I feel the spring breeze
blow through the pine trees,
as the dogs bark.
The coyotes sing their
songs to the moon.

This moment wants
to keep me from the morning
waking hours.

Humid May,
humor me more.

I speak less,
and drown within the hustle.
Hide behind every other
person as possible.
Distant.

I only twerk
to Bruce Springsteen
in whiskey aisles.
I'm not proud of myself,
or anything,
it's just true.
It doesn't feel
like Saturday.

history and the environment,
sustainable development.
writing papers, on papers,
and there's still
fireball on my bed sheets.
wind-blown Cleopatra hair,
caught in a crazed storm.
eyes travel past the curtains,
towards the clouds, and beyond.
streetlights and sidewalks,
soon we all must go.
and it makes me smile, and
bow my head, and all the while,
it is what it is. To the Pacific!
To the Cascades!
A new journey begins, as I close
the door where the Chickadee sings.

smooth talker,
street hardened.
i searched for truth
on google.com
the music made me
cry and ***,
all in one.
let it all hang out.
sea breeze,
squeeze and shout.
taste every color
of the rainbow trout.
accidents happen,
i played the addict.
sober is a fun game.

in a lobby, i sit and i look out.
take my glasses off, stare at
the fuzzy reflections through
the window glare.
count the dead flies in tiled
4x4 ceiling lights.
one more day, and i'll
drive home. but these couch
patterns catch my eyes
and the shadows dazzle in
the corner.
i see nothing.
i look around and it is finally
still, but still, i see nothing.
beat, broke, bones, body.
be gone, be me, catch my breath.
exit sign crooked, french door bent.
tiles and tumors, i sink into the sofa.
it's stress, it's the lack of sleep,
it's all because i let myself go.
winter's woe, dry hands,
bloodied nose.
strangers smile.

something about those sirens,
I saw your flesh in the cave
bedroom, blue.
all those feelings I felt,
they were/are real.
feet trudge through
all the deepest puddles,
gone to search for gold,
gone to look for fun.
and i forgot what it was like,
to be lost inside myself.
only for a little while.
my only friend,
drunk with myself.
cold air,
fresh breath,
can't wait.
I never wanted to grow old,
I can't blame such a pretty
sun set.
and this passing time,
continues to blow
my fragile mind.