you and i
we’ve always had some battered hearts
and i think i picked you up and i think i at least did a little good
for youand it makes me smilemakes me feel worthwhileyou and i
we were cute and acted innocent in the start
and i was shy and you were notand i guess we played our part
its true

and it makes me smirkmakes my heart workits sad that i
am not as smart as i used to thinkbut i’m trying to take the plug out of the sinkand let the ***** water drainfor youit makes grinit makes me puke until i’m thin

and i will try
for my own good and through your eyesjust have some hope, i meani’ve been there for you even when my heart was blueits true

i’ve stuck with you
so stick me with meand thats when i’ll knowthat this love is true

for quite some time, i’ve been trying to decode her.

as I slip through these days, I only figure her out more and more,

and it’s simple why she likes to keep her distance.

she likes to give love to those who haven’t felt it,

she likes to play and melt away under your skin.

she only wants to drain the ***** water from your sink,

give you pain to make you think.

i’ve heard her say sweet things in the dark before,

little whispers, soft legs, and blistered feet.

she’s always played the part like some sort of baby broken bear,

but maybe she’s known what she’s been doing all along.

i hear her sing her songs,

i see her cry her tears.

a genuine jewel and a colored gem,

a diamond with many facets.

a sleepy tiger lily,

and a leaning weeping willow.

days to weeks, weeks to months, and months to years.

every second spent daydreaming in that vacant house,

full of tainted and painful memories,

made her mind wander and let her head bloom.

no explanation.

no mix or match of any words, music, or memories

could touch her.

except, the sense of knowing

she was there, alive in that corner of time in the world.

but, it was everything.

everything that spoke to her, every song she heard,

every feeling she felt

moved her, broke her, bathed her,

remade her.

I’m in the warmth of
a womb above the sun
it’s numbing, the humble light
under your thumb
it’s glowing, luminous red
in the bed, sunlight ****
I’m ******* on the moon
like bitter sweet *****
I put the craters in your dress
But I digress…oh yes
I must confess
I was aiming for your chest
in the cruelest sort of ways
but where it stays is where it stays
like las vegas and tearful days
cause no one sells until you pay
no you’re not sold until you’re paid
no you’re not golden in this trade
black from blue and blue for grey

forty years there,

he claimed he had not

missed seattle.

so they placed me by

the exit escape.

looking through the window,

I saw my flashing fate.

one vile

two viles

three viles

four.

How many full of blood?

You asked them not to rob you.

Only you understood.

Sorrow screamed from my

empty gut.

"Worry not,"

you whispered.

It is not your fault.

We live on,

It was not our time.

The warped screwdriver,

made in China.

Touched by millions

passed on the life

inside the object.

Forget my desires,

wakefulness, please

lead me.

**** the money that drives me.

**** the money that drives you,

too.

sloppy-copy,

this wasn’t at all what I had

in my mind.

floppy disk,

explain to me only the gist.

and I beg of you,

please hear me out.

swear to you that I meant that.

behind closed doors

and cinder block walls

your drunk face spits

words you cannot take back

tomorrow you deny

that you could ever

be such a fool

and say such things.

i remember the boy who called me

his daisy

and i remember another who would call me

tiger lily.

in my mother’s eyes,

i am her petunia.

I continue to hide

to be disguised.

I silently choke

on the poison

in your cup.

it was the curls

that i combed,

of a little girl,

that i soon began to see

myself.

i begged for curls,

and she begged to have straight hair.

and even though my mother continued

to curl up in a ball in bed,

i watched

caroline grow.

When Caroline’s Mother

Susan,

told me that I was

a good girl,

I ran to her when I

ran away.

when I was 14,

i jumped off my roof

in the middle of the night.

Why this?

to sip the first of

the ****** poison.

with him.

deep within, maybe he knew.

calling me on my telephone,

was my half-sister, and my

mother’s eldest sister.

they told me that

if i came home,

they would never tell mama.

and they didn’t.

when caroline asked

for coca-cola in the

evening, i let her have it.

even though that was

the reason

why

she never went to bed

on time.

and because i was young,

and because i never knew better,

that is why it is my god-given right

to one day be a mother.

for now,

caroline and i,

will have each other

as each of our Mothers

suffer from a cancer

deep within.