If I told you I loved you






         Would you think
      
      I was lying

I don't want to die
I don't want attention
I just like the pain
That clean slice
Through my delicate skin
And the fire it lites inside

For you?

Honestly,

      I'm tired of
          Waiting

I have no need for a knight in shining armor sitting upon their  high horse
With perfect shields and swords held high

Give  me a knight with battered  armor dented shields and scratched bladed
Who have hunted down their demons faced their feare and won
With bight eyes and angry scars

Give  me  a  knight that's traveled far
Not one that's stayed in their own court yard

be like
colors
     swirling
             changing
  constantly
        creating

be like
colors
     swirling
             changing
  constantly
        creating

I get
   So lonely

Trapped in a world
    Without you

can I just melt away
flow around the world
disappear into the earth
become one with the universe

There is a constant melody
Playing in my mind

A softer sweeter parody
Of the reality I leave behind

Keeping time to the beat of my heart
Gently humming along

I can't remember when I heard it start
Ever changing beautiful notes

my love
i miss you
so much
i can not express it in words
i miss our giggles
and coffee dates
and nonlebian/lesbian hand holding
our loudness
our singing a
and awesome dancing
i miss taking pictures
and smiling
our moments of stupidity
i miss all of your wonderfulness
with love

And she moved on from him
like peeling off an worn and tattered sweater
never to be worn again.

If we didn't feel pain

     Then where would we be

No one would grow

     Nothing wwould change

If we didn't feel pain

Life is a puzzle
through out the years
we build upon it
click into place
lose a few pieces
but create
a beautiful picture
full of stories

She gave me pineapple kisses
her smile was sweeter than sunshine
I wish I could make her mine
but she slipped away through a different strand of time

I've heard
Pineapples taste of summertime
A humid sticky night, lovers delight
but the texture I couldn't bear
so eat the fruit I wouldn't dare
then my world changed when I met a beauty so rare

With hair like dark chocolate
and eyes like the sky
Her laughter like a familiar song

She gave me pineapple kisses
her smile was sweeter than sunshine
I should have made her mine
before she slipped away through a different strand of time

I enjoy the rain

When it really pours

It feels like home

Familiar faces
Unknown names
Different people
Similar features
I don't know them
I don't know
if I care

I love the way you sleep with me
  your body envelops me whole
     the way your arms hold me close
          you conform to the curves of my body
               soft nuzzles into my neck till you're content.

I love the way you sleep with me
   never a space between us always connected
     entangled in eachothers warmth
        heads side by side sharing a pillow
            our chests simultaneously rising falling with every breath.

               I kiss you wherever I can reach sometimes you kiss me back softly in your sleep
            hug your back hold you close and chase away bad dreams
         trace your face with my finger tips on engraving you in my mind
I love the way you sleep with me perfectly at ease.

Subway
       Sub city
              Sub lifestyle
Always staring

down

Never looking
       Around
Ignoring people

Around you

Avoid eye contact
     stare
at the floor

      Subway
             Sub city
                     Sub lifestyle

Hands up your sides
Eyes locking eyes
How ya gonna feel
When ya get that

Teeth on your neck
Nails down your back
How ya gonna feel
When ya get that

Tongue in your cheek
Things going deep
How ya gonna feel
When ya get that

When you get that moment

I often wonder about your lips
more specifically your kiss

  If they are as soft as I imagine
if they are as passionate as I hope

  Yet you leave me to ponder the structure of your profile
  Only guessing how your mouth would fit against mine

   Questioning if I would like how they traced my collar bones
   Or when they brushed my ears as you whispered the fading memory of your dream

  Would they leave behind shadows of safety on my forehead
  Stains of desire upon my soul

  Leave little love notes wherever they wondered
  Small silent secret I love yous
Only known to those who could feel them

  How I wish you would explain every detail of your lips
  With just one kiss against mine

I want to sleep
But my brains still going
Thought train off the tracks
Rapid racing random

An yet producing nothing

what am I doing with my life

sitting around

wasting away

what am I doing

wasting time

what is my life

what am I doing

Spending time with you
Is like the white noise
To the chaos of my life

Drip
    Drop
           Drizzle

Subtle music

Smartphone
        Games

Peaceful
night

In this world of rage and distraction
What are your thoughts your inner reactions
When you see people living in the streets
And trash at your feet
Do you show your emotions
Across an expansion of oceans
Or keep them bottled up inside
Safely in your soul to hide

Why keep hidden from world's view
When you could make a difference yes just  you
Makes someone's day give them a smile
You could make people happy for even a little while
One small thing could start a chain reaction
In this world filled with rage and distraction

So make your inner thoughts outter
Become a shouter
Express your emotions
To the size of oceans
And maybe just maybe
We can keep the world from going crazy

Do you ever miss someone so much
long for their presence
like a thirst you cannot quench

when you do see them
it's like that first sip of water
after a long run
a tall glass of lemonade
on a hot summer afternoon
an ice cold beer
after a long day

And you really see them
drink in their energy
gulp it down
like it's the most decadent flavor
to touch your tongue

And now that I've had a taste
I'll never stop craving you

Sometimes I feel like we're just ghosts
Walking through our lives
Not really knowing what we're doing
Or where we're going
And there's just here

I love a good thunder storm

chaotic beauty

      the dramatic dance
of lightning and thunder

the trees swaying to the beat
of the electrified hum
       that fills the air

moisture clinging to every surface

waiting for the crashing symphony

I want t know you
Feel every part of your existence
With the simple touch of your hand

I miss you
not the I miss you and can't wait to see you again

But the I miss you
and I know we won't talk as much
you're hugs won't ever be the same
I won't get to kiss you when you smile
or reach for your hand after getting in the car

I miss the safety
the comfort feeling
the entirety that is your being

It was only yesterday
and it ***** because
I miss you already

I love you more
   Than I love myself
And I don't know
    If thats good
              Or bad

The music
The energy
Makes my heart
Skip a beat

Sometimes it's hard not to hate you
you care more for you girlfriends
(Meant to be plural)
then you've ever shown for me
your flesh an blood
you brought into the world

You've distanced yourself from me
left me behind to live with a monster
so you could feel better

All I hear from you
is she's so serious about this
or I like how she does this
she's a wonderful that.

I try to be happy for you
but sometimes its hard not to hate you
and sometimes when you talk to me
I just want to be a sarcastic *****
but I don't

I loved you
More than I ever wanted too

And now?

I miss you
more than you will ever know