I'm laying here
It's 12:16 am.
And I'm like
****, I miss you
You haven't even been gone long
But I haven't heard from you lately
And it shouldn't bother me
But my brain won't let me sleep
I wonder if you think of me
Wonder what I'm up too
Do I keep you up at night
Thinking of my smile
And the curve of my spine
The way yours fill my daydreams
Music doesn't even drown you out
Thoughts of you scream the loudest in my head
I'm laying here
It's 12:21 am.
And I'm like
****, I miss you

That moment
The calm before the storm
Before the sky splits open
And pours out everything it has
Connecting heaven and earth
And we just call it rain

dark clouds of my past

        The clear skies of my future

Life's not smooth sailing

Bitter coffee swirling in my cup
Not enough flavor to fill me up

Should I complain to baristas till satisfied
As if it would make my taste buds feel justified

A shot of espresso in my coffee
All I'm lacking is English toffee

I keep drinking even though its not so sweet
to stubborn to admit defeat

Its not so bad if you drink it fast
The bitter flavors I soon get past

Bitter coffee is no more
For I am just a coffee *****
  
And I drank it.

I wish I could fall into the pages of book
Mix in between the lines of characters
Explore all the imaginary places
Get lost in the story
Live in the words
A new adventure every page

My body's exhausted
     But my brain is wide awake

Running racing thoughts
      But I'm getting nowhere

Brain send out the action
    To these lazy restless hand

There is no reaction

I'm sorry
   It was I that killed you

Put my blade in your back
     Wicked way with words

Honestly I hope it was painful
     Not a quick easy death

Dug deep into your shoulder blade
       Close to your heart

Leaving you to wonder
       Who betrayed you

Burnt myself again today
need to be more careful with fire

I don't get out much
but there isn't much to do on the outside

The stillness in this house
on a higher level than most

Like time ceases to exist
once I stepped through the door

I just press the button play the music
and melt out of my physical being

Float through my days
in the melancholy light

Going about my crafts
singing to the silent audience that is my home

My demons come
in the middle of the night
they claw at my back
tear at my skin

My demons come
in the middle of the night
slip through my ears
mix with my thoughts

My demons come
in the middle of the night
violate my emotions
poison my veins

My demons come
in the middle of then night
and soon
they just might win

I miss you

Dancing in the kitchen

Singing with you

Talking in the shower

Getting up to coffee

Kissing you

Falling asleep to your heart beat

Distance is ******* the soul

in that hour
between day and night
mystery hour
of filmy blue light
blurred lines
and shadowed faces
magical signs
dusk

A hug

        A kiss

                A touch

                       Conformed to your figure
                            One simple shape
      
                          How I long for your embrace

                                           A touch

                     A kiss
A hug

Consumed by your soul
Safe in your arms

Your hug
your kiss
your touch

For all the things we create
We forget how easily
Things are broken

you are my happiness
my other half
the end of my sentence
part of my soul
my heart
my being
always in the back of my mind
a comfort thought
always there
a peaceful place
of safety
I love you forever
don't ever forget
you are my happiness

you are my happiness
my other half
the end of my sentence
part of my soul
my heart
my being
always in the back of my mind
a comfort thought
always there
a peaceful place
of safety
I love you forever
don't ever forget
you are my happiness

Outside in the winter
Numbing my everything
To match my frozen heart

years from now

   I hope you look back on your life

and think of me

and realize what you missed

golden lips to kiss
soft and sweet
impossibly unique
saving that first kiss
for you

Good music
Puts me in a trance
As I  absorb it's essence

Seeps into my soul
Sets a a stain
Like a strongly brewed tea

Imprints upon my heart
A constant melody
forever floating through my thoughts

were all blazin
world is hazin
waiting for the media to change our minds
wait a second lets rewind
they say its freedom of speech
but its only free if you practice what you preach
so you can say what you say
and we'll turn the other cheek
but if you make a fuss and commotion
cause waves in the ocean
we'll stop your devotion
put your world out of motion
so stick with the majority
don't question our authority
we're all fighting for peace
but peace is not a victory
we should know from our history
see past our differences
and gain back our innocence
sharing is caring
but if we don't care
then what do we share
freedom of religion
should be the final decision
we all practice in peace
putting our minds at ease

I hate to love you
But I could never help how I feel

Hold me close
Block out the world
So I can wonder around
Get lost in your soul

I really need
to not
procrastinate
as much
as
I do

I feed off of peoples energy

if you're happy
I'm happy

If you're angry
I'm angry

If I'm not around people
For too long
I am empty
I feel nothing

A little bit of bitter
A whole lot of sweet
A powder
They call creamer
I don't drink black coffee
It tastes like death

I don't know where
     My mind is tonight
         Probably floating on a cloud

I don't know where
   My heart is tonight
      Probably curled up next to yours

I don't know where
     My soul is tonight
         Probably lost somewhere in between

I don't know what
I'm doing tonight
With all my missing pieces

I don't know if you read poetry
I don't know if this counts as a poem.

But I think of you often
Constantly floating through my ever  changing
train of thought. Rerouting
changing tracks running at full speed.
Taking highest priority.

I think of the things I want to tell you.
Like how I like your smile, the muscles down your back, they way you look at me when I do something dorky.

I think of how I want to kiss you, how I never get tired of hearing everything you have to say about anything,  how hugging you is the safest I've felt in a while.

I think of you often. And when will I see you again. We'll both be different people by then. But we'll keep in touch and keep happy. I'm excited to see you again no matter who you are next time.

I'd give up all my happiness
      
            Just
                  To
          See
                    You
Smile

I miss you
back then
life was good
you were mine
we were happy
now its drinks
and getting blazed
where'd that sweetheart go
who looked at me and said I love you
without a word
I miss you
the you
you used to be

When I'm with you it's like
There's life
Then there's us
And I forget everything
And it's like
Wow

Angry so much angry
more and more frustrated
its blinding
I can't do anything right
don't talk to me
You're standing to close
too much angry
maybe if I keep washing my hands
scrub harder
get all of this off
like black oil clinging to my skin
all this hate
the stench I can't get it off
Hotter water
more soap
My hands are raw
But still unclean
I feel disgustingly filthy
coated on the backs of my hands
in the creases of my palms
packed under my nails
my internal voice is screaming till its raw
just a violent ringing in my ears
and a blur of frustration

It hurts to miss you as much as I do
I can't stay still too long
it fills up the space I'm in
I can smell it in my clothes

I miss you
like a silent prayer
a mantra
a chant in the back of my mind

It rolls of my shoulders in pale plumes of white smoke
Leaving a fog in my wake
I can't sit still too long
else I loose sight of everything around me

I miss you
a simple song playing on repeat
I hum along
the tune sticks in my mind

It's hard to live life
with half a beating heart
when the other beats for you
without my favorite piece there's a hole in my existence

I miss you
How I long for your closeness
your peaceful energy
that quiets my screaming soul

It takes so much effort
to build up my good mood
But it's worth it
to be smiling and happy
Yet the structure itself
is so fragile
and easily destroyed

That face
You make
When you realize
It was all lies

The heart break
You feel
When you find out
From someone else

Its quiet when your
Alone
Silent thoughts
Race through
My head
Screaming
Yelling
Laughing crying
Silent thoughts
To every one
But me

love is magical
once you love someone
you never love the same again
once somebody loves you
they never love anyone
the same
its magical

I want to be your muse

     your darkest desire

to keep you up at night

           running through your mind


I want to entice you

    to make you mine

Take a piece of your heart

     Stake my claim in your soul


I simply want
      to be yours

sometimes I wear hats
to keep all my thoughts
in my head
sometimes
I wear hats
to keep
ideas in my
brain
sometimes
I wear hats
to keep my words
stored away
sometimes
I wear hats
cause my hair looks bad

I saw some one
Who looked like you
The other day
My heart stopped
Wrong place
Wrong time
It wasn't you
And I'm moving on

All these empty answers
rattle around in my head

I'm fine

I'm doing good

Glad to be here

I just want one
   Just one
genuine
        
        Smile