I have no need for a knight in shining armor sitting upon their  high horse
With perfect shields and swords held high

Give  me a knight with battered  armor dented shields and scratched bladed
Who have hunted down their demons faced their feare and won
With bight eyes and angry scars

Give  me  a  knight that's traveled far
Not one that's stayed in their own court yard

Sometimes I feel like we're just ghosts
Walking through our lives
Not really knowing what we're doing
Or where we're going
And there's just here

I love the way you sleep with me
  your body envelops me whole
     the way your arms hold me close
          you conform to the curves of my body
               soft nuzzles into my neck till you're content.

I love the way you sleep with me
   never a space between us always connected
     entangled in eachothers warmth
        heads side by side sharing a pillow
            our chests simultaneously rising falling with every breath.

               I kiss you wherever I can reach sometimes you kiss me back softly in your sleep
            hug your back hold you close and chase away bad dreams
         trace your face with my finger tips on engraving you in my mind
I love the way you sleep with me perfectly at ease.

I want t know you
Feel every part of your existence
With the simple touch of your hand

I love you more
   Than I love myself
And I don't know
    If thats good
              Or bad

I often wonder about your lips
more specifically your kiss

  If they are as soft as I imagine
if they are as passionate as I hope

  Yet you leave me to ponder the structure of your profile
  Only guessing how your mouth would fit against mine

   Questioning if I would like how they traced my collar bones
   Or when they brushed my ears as you whispered the fading memory of your dream

  Would they leave behind shadows of safety on my forehead
  Stains of desire upon my soul

  Leave little love notes wherever they wondered
  Small silent secret I love yous
Only known to those who could feel them

  How I wish you would explain every detail of your lips
  With just one kiss against mine

I don't think she understands
how much happiness I give up sometime
just to see her smile

I miss you
not the I miss you and can't wait to see you again

But the I miss you
and I know we won't talk as much
you're hugs won't ever be the same
I won't get to kiss you when you smile
or reach for your hand after getting in the car

I miss the safety
the comfort feeling
the entirety that is your being

It was only yesterday
and it ***** because
I miss you already

And she moved on from him
like peeling off an worn and tattered sweater
never to be worn again.

Do you ever miss someone so much
long for their presence
like a thirst you cannot quench

when you do see them
it's like that first sip of water
after a long run
a tall glass of lemonade
on a hot summer afternoon
an ice cold beer
after a long day

And you really see them
drink in their energy
gulp it down
like it's the most decadent flavor
to touch your tongue

And now that I've had a taste
I'll never stop craving you

It takes so much effort
to build up my good mood
But it's worth it
to be smiling and happy
Yet the structure itself
is so fragile
and easily destroyed

I feed off of peoples energy

if you're happy
I'm happy

If you're angry
I'm angry

If I'm not around people
For too long
I am empty
I feel nothing

So many things rattling around in my head
questions without answers
screaming at me from the backs of my eyelids

Yelyelyelling
What the what the what the ****
are you doing with your life
You haven't done **** **** ****
today

You have it so easeaseasy
you should get out and dododo some thing
where are you going in life

echos around
the canyons and crevasses of my mind

And then I fold myself into your arms
and everything is silent
Just the comforting hum of your existence

Angry so much angry
more and more frustrated
its blinding
I can't do anything right
don't talk to me
You're standing to close
too much angry
maybe if I keep washing my hands
scrub harder
get all of this off
like black oil clinging to my skin
all this hate
the stench I can't get it off
Hotter water
more soap
My hands are raw
But still unclean
I feel disgustingly filthy
coated on the backs of my hands
in the creases of my palms
packed under my nails
my internal voice is screaming till its raw
just a violent ringing in my ears
and a blur of frustration

Sometimes it's hard not to hate you
you care more for you girlfriends
(Meant to be plural)
then you've ever shown for me
your flesh an blood
you brought into the world

You've distanced yourself from me
left me behind to live with a monster
so you could feel better

All I hear from you
is she's so serious about this
or I like how she does this
she's a wonderful that.

I try to be happy for you
but sometimes its hard not to hate you
and sometimes when you talk to me
I just want to be a sarcastic *****
but I don't

It hurts to miss you as much as I do
I can't stay still too long
it fills up the space I'm in
I can smell it in my clothes

I miss you
like a silent prayer
a mantra
a chant in the back of my mind

It rolls of my shoulders in pale plumes of white smoke
Leaving a fog in my wake
I can't sit still too long
else I loose sight of everything around me

I miss you
a simple song playing on repeat
I hum along
the tune sticks in my mind

It's hard to live life
with half a beating heart
when the other beats for you
without my favorite piece there's a hole in my existence

I miss you
How I long for your closeness
your peaceful energy
that quiets my screaming soul

Burnt myself again today
need to be more careful with fire

I don't get out much
but there isn't much to do on the outside

The stillness in this house
on a higher level than most

Like time ceases to exist
once I stepped through the door

I just press the button play the music
and melt out of my physical being

Float through my days
in the melancholy light

Going about my crafts
singing to the silent audience that is my home

I'm sorry
   It was I that killed you

Put my blade in your back
     Wicked way with words

Honestly I hope it was painful
     Not a quick easy death

Dug deep into your shoulder blade
       Close to your heart

Leaving you to wonder
       Who betrayed you

I miss you

Dancing in the kitchen

Singing with you

Talking in the shower

Getting up to coffee

Kissing you

Falling asleep to your heart beat

Distance is ******* the soul

It's pouring rain
Rivers run through the drains

Nothing happens in this town
peoples lives spiral down

Very few escape this place
start in a new town as a new face

If you're stuck here get used to gray days
as the contrast of your soul slowly fades away

Cause we live in the **** of god
fenced in by mountains and more than flawed
we'll take your losers loners and outcasts
Too eager to forget their pasts
Placed in this godforsaken community
Where no one cares about your identity

If you catch a glimpse of the scenery it's beauty never fades
but the wind cuts through to your core like a sharp blade

You'll never elude that damp chill
Keeping warm is a needed skill

If you ever go out dress in layers
And just in case say a few prayers

Unlike the people the weather is harsh
and to the beat of the rain we all march

Cause we live in the **** of god
fenced in by mountains and more than flawed
we'll take your losers loners and outcasts
Too eager to forget their pasts
Placed in this godforsaken community
Where no one cares about your identity

Winds are howling
dreams are drowning
Waves crashing into the shore
ships will sail no more
In this washed out itty bitty city
where the weathers always ******

Cause we live in the **** of god
fenced in by mountains and more than flawed
we'll take your losers loners and outcasts
Too eager to forget their pasts
Placed in this godforsaken community
Where no one cares about your identity

She gave me pineapple kisses
her smile was sweeter than sunshine
I wish I could make her mine
but she slipped away through a different strand of time

I've heard
Pineapples taste of summertime
A humid sticky night, lovers delight
but the texture I couldn't bear
so eat the fruit I wouldn't dare
then my world changed when I met a beauty so rare

With hair like dark chocolate
and eyes like the sky
Her laughter like a familiar song

She gave me pineapple kisses
her smile was sweeter than sunshine
I should have made her mine
before she slipped away through a different strand of time

I loved you
More than I ever wanted too

And now?

I miss you
more than you will ever know

All these empty answers
rattle around in my head

I'm fine

I'm doing good

Glad to be here

I just want one
   Just one
genuine
        
        Smile

I may look like a rose garden
but inside I'm full of thorns

Bitter coffee swirling in my cup
Not enough flavor to fill me up

Should I complain to baristas till satisfied
As if it would make my taste buds feel justified

A shot of espresso in my coffee
All I'm lacking is English toffee

I keep drinking even though its not so sweet
to stubborn to admit defeat

Its not so bad if you drink it fast
The bitter flavors I soon get past

Bitter coffee is no more
For I am just a coffee *****
  
And I drank it.

I don't know if you read poetry
I don't know if this counts as a poem.

But I think of you often
Constantly floating through my ever  changing
train of thought. Rerouting
changing tracks running at full speed.
Taking highest priority.

I think of the things I want to tell you.
Like how I like your smile, the muscles down your back, they way you look at me when I do something dorky.

I think of how I want to kiss you, how I never get tired of hearing everything you have to say about anything,  how hugging you is the safest I've felt in a while.

I think of you often. And when will I see you again. We'll both be different people by then. But we'll keep in touch and keep happy. I'm excited to see you again no matter who you are next time.

I don't want to die
I don't want attention
I just like the pain
That clean slice
Through my delicate skin
And the fire it lites inside

I'm laying here
It's 12:16 am.
And I'm like
****, I miss you
You haven't even been gone long
But I haven't heard from you lately
And it shouldn't bother me
But my brain won't let me sleep
I wonder if you think of me
Wonder what I'm up too
Do I keep you up at night
Thinking of my smile
And the curve of my spine
The way yours fill my daydreams
Music doesn't even drown you out
Thoughts of you scream the loudest in my head
I'm laying here
It's 12:21 am.
And I'm like
****, I miss you

There is a constant melody
Playing in my mind

A softer sweeter parody
Of the reality I leave behind

Keeping time to the beat of my heart
Gently humming along

I can't remember when I heard it start
Ever changing beautiful notes

I hate to love you
But I could never help how I feel

We met
That connection
The spark
Interest
Then you quite literally
****** me over

You caught me off guard

Slipped through my defenses

I was useless against your smile

I get
   So lonely

Trapped in a world
    Without you

years from now

   I hope you look back on your life

and think of me

and realize what you missed

I love a good thunder storm

chaotic beauty

      the dramatic dance
of lightning and thunder

the trees swaying to the beat
of the electrified hum
       that fills the air

moisture clinging to every surface

waiting for the crashing symphony

I enjoy the rain

When it really pours

It feels like home

My body's exhausted
     But my brain is wide awake

Running racing thoughts
      But I'm getting nowhere

Brain send out the action
    To these lazy restless hand

There is no reaction

I don't know where
     My mind is tonight
         Probably floating on a cloud

I don't know where
   My heart is tonight
      Probably curled up next to yours

I don't know where
     My soul is tonight
         Probably lost somewhere in between

I don't know what
I'm doing tonight
With all my missing pieces

I want to be your muse

     your darkest desire

to keep you up at night

           running through your mind


I want to entice you

    to make you mine

Take a piece of your heart

     Stake my claim in your soul


I simply want
      to be yours

dark clouds of my past

        The clear skies of my future

Life's not smooth sailing

You're so wrapped up

               In the ruins of your world,


     With her.




sorry for interrupting.

If we didn't feel pain

     Then where would we be

No one would grow

     Nothing wwould change

If we didn't feel pain

If I told you I loved you






         Would you think
      
      I was lying