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Days that cannot bring you near
or will not,
Distance trying to appear
something more obstinate,
argue argue argue with me
endlessly
neither proving you less wanted nor less dear.

Distance: Remember all that land
beneath the plane;
that coastline
of dim beaches deep in sand
stretching indistinguishably
all the way,
all the way to where my reasons end?

Days: And think
of all those cluttered instruments,
one to a fact,
canceling each other's experience;
how they were
like some hideous calendar
"Compliments of Never & Forever, Inc."

The intimidating sound
of these voices
we must separately find
can and shall be vanquished:
Days and Distance disarrayed again
and gone
both for good and from the gentle battleground.
 Jun 2013 Peter frankten
AJ
Oreo
 Jun 2013 Peter frankten
AJ
My cat just sneezed.
It was the cutest thing in the world.
His eyes shut and he blew himself back
About maybe two feet.
He then proceeded to look around confused and offended,
And sneezed yet again.
This time his eyes widened even further,
Showing his displeasure,
Like it was the most unbelievable and horrid mystery in the world.
Then he jumped up on the couch
And he scratched me.
 Jun 2013 Peter frankten
AJ
There is a brown bin on my back porch.
It is filled with pool tarps and bad memories.
It is raining now
And the rain is pelting it,
And if the bin could feel pain,
I'm sure it would be screaming.
I am glad that I can count on the rain to fight my battles for me.
It is like my protective older brother,
Beating the **** out of desperate lovers and child abuse.
That brown bin that I cannot stand.
 Jun 2013 Peter frankten
AJ
You used to have conversations with the beach.
"How are you this year?"
"I am getting older, and I do not think I like it."
"Just feel my waves, it will make you feel better."
And it did make you feel better.
No one else ever reached out to comfort you.
Even drowning is a nice hug.
Not too cool, but not warm at all.
The little boy trying to fly a kite
With no wind in sight
Never gives up
His hope of its flight.
The beach was your best friend.
 Jun 2013 Peter frankten
AJ
Sometimes I close my eyes,
And pretend I'm up in a tree.
And it's the tallest tree in the world.
And I can see movie stars, and presidents, and the nobodies.
And they see me,
And they smile,
And they wave.
And they know that I am important.
Little old me
In my big tall tree.
And it makes me feel less tragic.
 Jun 2013 Peter frankten
AJ
Sometimes I whisper my secrets to the ceiling.
Only when the lights are off,
And the fan is spinning.
The fan is very nosey.
I think he is a German spy.
Or maybe I'm the German spy,
And that's what my secrets are all about.
No one will ever know.
Except,
Of course,
For the ceiling.
 Jun 2013 Peter frankten
AJ
Today I thought about it.
I didn't do it.
I think about it a lot.
I've done it.
We all thought about it at some point.
We don't all do it.
A lot do it.
We don't all succeed.
I guess if we all thought about it,
And all did it,
And all succeeded,
There would be no one left to
Think about it,
And do it,
And succeed.
But I'll still think about it,
And do it.
So will you.
 Jun 2013 Peter frankten
AJ
Once upon a time there was a girl.
In the summer she'd hold her breath underwater in the three foot pool. 47 seconds.
In the fall she'd look at the trees from the car window and wonder why she didn't change color with them.
In the winter her boots would get stuck in the snow just like the cat and she'd laugh.
In the spring she'd make potions with leaves, seeds, and sandbox rain water.

Once upon a time the girl was a little bit older.
In the summer the pool would be too small, she'd be too tall.
In the fall she'd become enthralled with girls and wouldn't think of the leaves again.
In the winter she'd realize not all children were hit and hated at home.
In the spring she'd fill herself with alcoholic potions the leaves and rain water couldn't touch.

Once upon a time the girl aged even more.
In the summer she'd throw her last scrap of childhood to the big bad wolf. He gave her a token.
In the fall she'd change like the leaves, but then the magic would leave. She'd lose the token.
In the winter she'd fall in the gravel infested snow. She wouldn't laugh.
In the spring she'd try to end it all with a potion of sleep and cool metal. It wouldn't work.

Once upon a time it was right about now.
I'm changing like the leaves, stuck in the snow, taking too many "potions". The whole time I've been holding my breath. 571,501,629 seconds.
 Jun 2013 Peter frankten
AJ
It's days like this where I listen to sad songs about fathers abandoning their children and kneel on the big chair by the window, and look outside like I'm seven years old.
I didn't like seven years old.
I hated the first day of it.
I cried all of April twenty-forth that year.
I knelt on the big chair by the front window and felt the wind that I could see the trees felt.
The swayed and shimmered as if they could hear the music too.
Why didn't I sway and shimmer when the wind hit me?
I only got cold and determined.
Seven was the last time I thought that thought until now.
It took me long over a decade to answer that question.
I wish it was something lyrical, majestic, and deep.
It's not.
It's just science.
Sometimes science is sadder than fathers abandoning their children.
 Jun 2013 Peter frankten
AJ
I'm fine, I guess.
Just in case you were wondering.

It's been four years since that night on the pool table.
I still think about it.
Just in case you were wondering.

Nothing positive came from that experience.
Even though they said it would.
"You'll be so much stronger."
I can't find the strength.
Just in case you were wondering.

I hated you, and your baby that I almost had.
But it's been almost four years.
I wasn't too sad to lose her then.
I am now.
And I hate you.
Just in case you were wondering.

You called me last week.
You were drunk.
No, we can not do it again.
No, I will not make you dinner.
You disgust me.
Just in case you're wondering.

If your goal was to break me, you failed.
You just gave me the necessary tools to break myself.
I did it.
Just in case you were wondering.

I'm fine, I guess.
Just in case you were wondering.
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