you and the moon and the ocean and the rain
there's no difference
beautiful, breathtaking, terrifying
so close to perfection,
so close to destroying
you say what you love won't **** you
but i love you and it's already killing me
you destroy me in the sweetest way
gently, patiently
i didn't know i could drown without knowing
until i met you
and i'm glad to have you

Aku cinta kepadanya
tapi bahkan cinta pun
tidak abadi
dan aku tak tahu
apa yang akan kulakukan
ketika cinta itu
akhirnya pergi.

Jadi aku memutuskan
untuk pergi duluan.

you remind me of the evening thunderstorms: cold, terrifying, yet so beautiful. when i said that your smile radiates joy, i wasn't exaggerating. when i whispered that the touch of your hand warms my heart, i meant it from my deepest palace of mind. the thought of you alone is enough to make my body tremble for i cannot cope with so much feelings. i'm craving for you yet my heartbeat always goes faster every time i think of being close to someone other than myself. i am eager for the sense of your skin against mine but i still can't get rid of these metals that locked my heart out for you. i want to say that i'm madly in love but i don't know if i can be madder than i already am. being with you is like cutting my own body parts into pieces; it hurts so bad but it's much better than being alive and numb. i wish i could take it easy like the detectives when they solve problems but my problem is you and you are nothing but a bunch of puzzle pieces that confuse me all the time. i really wish things weren't so complicated inside this forest in my head.

i just can't seem to love myself
no matter how hard i try
no matter how many times
i've skipped dinners
no matter how many times
i slide the razor on my skin
no matter how much
make ups i've put on my face
to hide the ugly that i am
because i know for a fact
that no one will ever love me
for who i am

don't you dare blaming me
for not telling the truth
because if you gave me the chance
i would tell you everything

i need to do my homework
and study for the exams
the teachers had warned us about
i also really need to ***
but my eyes are begging to take a rest

i should care more about my grades
instead of thinking about the boy
with the blue eyes in the middle of the night
i should've said yes when my friends asked me
to go to the coffee shop with them
so i don't have to sit here, alone, all night

i need to stop complaining about the system
and how the government needs to understand
that kids are nothing but human beings
and start thinking about what i want to be
when i'm all grown up and sad like any other adult
so i won't end up at a stripper club

i have to pay attention to everyone around me
start facing the real world, making a real deal
fighting for the popular crown in high school
instead of crying by my computer screen

and before i write about how i still think about you
(just because i can't help it
they say i'm too young to understand
but i dedicate every word in this poem for you)
i really need to start studying