The meadow was that of much beyond compare

Outlined by a blue line that cut off the air

Hardest soft brown eyes that set off a flare

The heat was worth being exactly right there

My Reason and Sense, the water did not spare

Until the sun set, and left the land all bare

Left me with nothing but at darkness to stare

And building wishes for the curtain to tear



But the Moon had risen, with luring brightness

Gave light to the water: then full with darkness

A colorful face crafted with such finesse

Such a light through my black; I could not wish less

Finite or not; loved the feeling regardless

But I was cursed at the same time I was blessed

Moons don't always shine, and it caused my great stress

So I parted the Moon, which I think it best

I'm thankful it had been there, nevertheless



I parted the Moon; the sun began to rise

And so did the flutter of the butterflies

And heated that which could have turned into ice

Roses in a field that was soaked in gold dye

Like the hue of the sun that flew through the sky

But I've forgot the joy I feel when I fly

And now I wonder, "Should I even try?"

'Cause each Day just leaves me with tears I can't cry

Anxiety's a ball of liquid iron

Eternally freezing from the inside out

Fit a layer of stone!

Sprinkle some grasses and trees for decoration

Pretty thing on the surface from outer space

But in the surface, a cold hell

Smoke and trash and debris

From internal wars fought before

Volcanoes that at times erupt

The fire brewing at the core

I'm taking a break
Need to organize my thoughts
And think some things through

The twister had calmed to winds still sleek

They created beautiful art

I wished from this practice a path to relief

Alas such relief is too far

What do you expect from a broken heart?



I have hid my art behind a screen

Deciphering, some of you are

Some of you probably know it's me

And may keep your distance quite large

I'm not surprised for my morale is scarred



I may take rest from this for a week

For writing these are getting hard

My welfare and writing seems too bleak

Internally I'm ripped apart

It seems my mind will be forever dark

Like beyond the sky

It's unknown

Why? I ask

Why am I such a mess in front of people? Why am I secluded from society and all its norms?



I understood why I had wanted to die last year

I understood why I feel things

I understood down to the chemicals in the brain why....

Except why does my rational being fear others?

Why is that  humans are the magnet of my disarray?

Like the exosphere it's knowledge obtainable by not man nor woman nor self.

Nothing changed when I write poetry

I can pour my heart into fourteen lines

I can spend eternity on these rhymes

Doesn't cure what the **** is wrong with me

Even if it takes me a thousand years

To write a sonnet to express my pain

My attempts for relief are all in vain

Still I try to hold back my ******* tears

Who really cares that I wrote this sonnet?

What would have happened if I had done it?

Things this year are what brought me to the brink

How painless: the absence of emotions!

Such relief's an incredible notion!

Already I'm aching to cease to think.



Crawling to the cliff

I know I've been here before

We'll see how it goes

It's weird how last year

I cried because I'd

A soul sheared alone



And yet now I've felt

Quite fine when I try

For true solitude



Strange 'tis: I find bliss

In wind that did spin

The storm of great form