I guess I didn't reflect it well.
I guess I was too shy, too reserved—it felt cold.
But to picture you speak out the words typed in my screen,
And to impress your voice in my head like a song.
I felt the happiness of a child, achieving a milestone in his life.
Too see your lips turn up, untroubled by prejudice.
Too see your eyes stare at mine, free of malice.
I felt the world was working with me.
But clocks can't scream urgency.
Books can't hug you.
I wish you knew how much those little things mattered to me.
If only you knew, that I was about to overcome my silence.

It's all buried behind this door, and the code can change at whim.
Safe from betrayal but not from harm, when sadness runs within.
Take the fist away from the wall, and walk past all the hassle.
Because in the end the damage done, is all that you can wrestle.
Can't change the past without a lie, As you joke along with others.
But in your eyes you know the answer, so  take what death can offer.

My heart broke and every shard wounds my insides for every time I said, "I love you!"
They say the ticking always stops when you least expect it..........


   .....Where was I going with life before I met you?
I've forgotten how dizzy circles can get when I'm use to going backwards.
After all that's happened my mind plays the trick of corruption.
Thinking it's got away.
When in the end it's also f*cked.
The mind behind the shame.

These eyes aren't me,
Shades unknown just to tell the torture.
Challenge the damage done to outlast desperation.
A broken arrow points down to my existence.
Will has taken over and above the pain is a smile,
Noticeably plain with a dollop of sadness in throat view.
Stranded in swirls of pity by the loss of vanity.
All another word for worthless.

Worthless stories from the drunken source, Create the hovel and this curse.
What lies ahead in despair,
As laughter and scoffs fill the air.
Oh, could it be my dignity or maybe even shame?
All that's left is stale *** breathe and tears from everyday.

These puddles grow into a lifestyle,
I can't let time stay for a while.
Noone is going to be sorry,
Blood omits the story.
So carry out the rest of luck with help from the abandoned.
And let this problem be the first of many to be done with.

Take my soul and choke,
You've already devoured my heart.
Take a moment to stare,
While you fck with my life.
You shared your chaos with hate,
And devoted torment to pain.
I keep stepping forward to deny you,
But yor strength hasn't changed.
Again I've pss*d on sober,
Tore my wagon to a barrel.
More and more I'm back to hiding,
Find my fault is now a flee.
Chase redemption out the window,
And get my shame to follow others.
For no longer can I challenge this,
Erase success from my description.