You, boy, have been
On my mind
My sanity lately
Has been difficult to find

Ive been wondering what
You do in your spare time
Are you thinking about me
No it's not a crime

To think about the past
And our past persons too
Because I've been thinking about you
And your point of view

I think about you holding me
And your lips touching mine
I think of the fire works we watched
The kisses stolen waiting in line

So do you still think of me
I still think of you

Please still think of me
I still want you

A wise man once said
"Keep moving forward"
So that's what I'll do

I will look back
From time to time
My past made me

But I won't worry
About things
I can't change

I had a dream
The other night
And by the end
All I saw was white

It was a appoctalyptic world
Many years after a war
World War Four
Is what I knew

And I felt a force
Slip into my dream
Making reality a myth
And tear at the seams

Every where I looked
Poeple were paranoid and afraid
They pretended like it was not real
That it might just leave or fade

But the evil force stayed
It grew strong and brave
It told me I must **** myself
If my dear ones I were to save

My father was the one
To hand me a razor blade
He said I must slit my throught
For every sin I had made

So I started slicing the skin
But I realized it would never end
There are too many sins Ive commited
So I choked on my blood and the razor I did bend

I awoke seeing white
And air couldnt grace my lungs quick enough
I cried for ten minutes
Because to me it was real and tough

Dont let dreams take over
Your life and your mind
They might seem fun at first
But whatch them and mind

"Simply dont"
Says my mother
But she does not grasp
That I am nearly 17

And "dont" is not
In my vocabulary

Sorry

Once, long ago
I gazed upon
the world with
conformity’s eyes
and found it absurd

And I cursed existence
and my fellow man

I built a wall to defend
the tattered remnants
of the sanity I perceived
I still possessed

I built a wall that quickly
became a desolate prison
standing cold in the face
of forgiveness and love

I ignored beauty’s gentle bliss

I insulted love in the name
of an antiquated morality

Oh spirits
Oh demons
Oh harbingers
of what lies
beyond
perception

It was to you
that I entrusted
my salvation

It was to you that
I prayed in expectation
of deliverance

I begged for naught
but a cessation of being
to relieve the nightmare
of existence

In desperation
I grasped the reins
of intolerance

I drew the sword
of superficial righteousness
carving a swath of condemnation
through the ranks of my brothers
for the sake of a disapproving God

I wounded virtue in the name of heaven

I exchanged reason for faith

I threw compassion to the dogs of indifference

What pain has my existence
brought my fellow man?

My path to salvation lies
hidden among the bones
of those I once held dear

Heaven should not
exact such remuneration
for paradise cannot be
purchased with the blood
of hatred and the
tears of martyred tolerance

I will not kneel before
such an altar

Not again

Never again

You sometimes forget my age
That I am only sixteen
You whisper words and tell me things
That you dont always mean

You see me older than I am
Because my soul is old
You tell me all your worries
Of how your heart has grown cold

But when you dont tell me
What is on your mind
I feel hurt and my curiosity peaks
My fingers twist and bind

I can tell something
Picks at your head
Something you wont tell me this time
Something filled with dread

I feel betrayed and sad
But I shouldnt be
You are my mother and I the daughter
Its not you its me