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Peashoot Aug 2014
.... warm and cold, this world hurts, cuts, stings & burns till your on your knees, an oil sodden bird nursing a punctured soul.
Hand shy tired & broken my world has become a wreck, a fractured carcass of scattered & shattered dreams.
I look up, reach out, to an ocean of people,
..... nevertheless I am drowning.
Stolen heart & short of breath, wearing a smile but its folly I'm clowning.

One slip, I trip, I tip, I fall,
like Alice spiralling into that long dank hole.
To be reborn, shut away, its dark & damp ....
I see no evil here,
nothing -
dumb & innocent as a velvet vole.

**** this world of Health & Safety
'They' hold the key - I need to be free !!!
precious hours slip through my paws, like grains of sand trickling slowly through this dreary landscape of my life.

Abandoned toys strewn from this caged cot called home.
Spangled desires, dangled & strangled, thrown up on the sand storm,
discarded by fates hand
please, someone take my hand ? and guide me through this dark n' peppered land.
Peashoot Aug 2014
deep fish swimming through & inside me,
touch me with your soft delight.
I wait in the cool stillness., eager to bite.

Slippery words, cryptic messages, riding ******* on the wings of a starless dark night,
so near .... so far ......
your just of sight.

Midnight fishing, the moon quivers & shivers as the river is glistening,
tangerine, green & yellow phosphorescent flecks darting to & fro.
Coi ? -
no .......
a boot,
a *******,
a banker,
a ******,
..... will I ever thank her,
might you one day bring me an ocean of joy
Peashoot Aug 2014
?
.... this caged bird ceases to sing
Peashoot Aug 2014
I know your frustration
your choked isolation
a damaged bird
whose feathers - cut n' clipped
a fractured body constrained a wild living soul
sliced n' pierced, stripped to the chore,
heavy you display emotions so raw ....
you fought hard, cried hard, raged ! & loved.
with acceptance as your friend eventually fate found its way.
Serenity pulled you through
beautiful spirit, compassionate & brave
at such a young age you went to your grave.

Inspirational lady - my teacher, mentor & guru

Frida Kahlo
Peashoot Jul 2014
It feels strange with you not here
not quite right,
the room is still,
but for the sound of little ones, playing, squeals of delight,
it's hot,
an empty space & for some reason I am not at ease ......
Then they are gone 1 2 & 3 toddlers, gratefully to be alone.
then, my mother on the phone,
her voice calm but direct, "Mello is missing -
what ?
nothing is clear, my heads in a whirl, what did she mean ? how could this be ?

brother, rail staff, pharmacist, painter all searching but no sightings anywhere - she has gone. 
 Ok, I am on my way !

Brian Bridgette, Bootle, blind fear - Mello's missing - I need her here
I cannot breath, heart is pounding, a silent fog wraps itself around me,
home - I must get home

panic I become frantic, hot, traffic, car, stay calm but I am dizzy,
she'll be ok was all my friend could say.
sick to my pit, I stutter and stammer, my mind is a soup,
........ please lets not delay

midday & eventually home, I open the door, the sticky air a blanket of suffocating heat, "Mello!" I cry, MellOOOOOO, across & above the blue empty sky
nothing, no wild shaggy beast to greet me, stillness, Mum, friend, chatter, I feel sick, irritable, anxious, its true, where is my Mello ? I so love you ......

a few feet away, just over the fence a train draws into the station, the screech of heavy brakes, its murderess horn sounds twice as this metal machine slowly comes to a halt. Silence, its not reached the station.
My mother is chatting, they are blissfully unaware.
"That was Mello" I muttered to myself, that was Mello ......... I felt,
but no one was listening, no one had heard. We went into the house .......
"No, I don't want tea!"

Into the garden in search of clues, the compost is high the wall low, no genius to work out how she escaped,
stolen or did she run ? why had she gone ? after a cat or a bird or just for some fun.

Phone, Mike, Mello's gone ! -
......... what will I do, I cannot bare to consider life without you,
Your perfect my friend, my little girl,  so very wise, too young to be taken, my soul mate my rock, you gave nothing but pleasure, please return to me safe & unbroken.

My ringtone sounds,  "is that ......... ? there has been an incident"
A dog, white, on the track, can you come ?
Tears frozen round my heart, in shock & disbelief, oh no you've been taken
YES, a railway official, orange suit, stands waiting, he carries your carcass, she's heavy with sweat, he lays her at my feet, please leave me alone.....
I fall at her side & hug my friend, still warm she lye's silent & still, beneath the roots of the old copper beech, in the dirt, I cry, not believing but breathing.
Lifeless my best mate is slipping away,  

Why, oh why???? ...... did I abandon you on the 10th July ?
RIP Mello x
Peashoot Jul 2014
It cuts, tears, rips & devides you
slow or fast it is brutal with intent,
it creeps and crawls through each and every vessel
its vigour can demolish the thickest of walls
disabling vitality, slowly stealing your mind &
quashing your pride killing you inside

friends & lovers, hands tied
meekly sit sadly at your side
caught in the virus of its breath
succumb, our worlds universally fractured forever
as death envelopes you, my love like an unstoppable tide.

my tears fall, I am shell
..... with an empty soul
lost and left stranded to mourn alone
I yearn to die as I sit and cry
this cruel sickness steals all

— The End —