I held her gaze for a fleet second
Her look so intense
Sitting alone our minds speak
Beyond love we traveled
It’s not in touch or nearness
Much beyond love calls
Where can I abide for such love
Carries me into horizons...

I remember those walks on the beach, the gentle waves lapping on to your feet; some of them trying to get on your knees, some of them too shy breaking away in the distance; that one big one who drenched you completely! the tears not ‘cause your cried but the salty water irritating your eyes, I gently rubbed away your tears with my handkerchief, then I saw that expression in those deep eyes, deeper than the seas: were you really trying to tell me something, which had no words so you extended yours hands but before I could hold them, you tucked them away into the depths of your wet pockets; never to give them to me ever again...

you left me like the north wind, my head spinning; knowing not what to think or say, I felt abandoned, in dismay; I spoke to none, to this day, for what could any do or say! I do speak to the winds especially the north, asking him if he saw you or have seen you any of these days; my heart broke into a million pieces which can never be put together, for he told me that you married the farmer’s eldest son; the captain in the army, and have raised your brood of children all of them looking exactly like you! How would or could I be anywhere for I was, am still the poor cowboy out in the fields all day: a little hay to lay down my arms for a pillow I do sometimes cry myself to sleep; thinking I shall never see you again...

The tortuous winds of time rallied around my mind, circling in spheres unknown; I tried stepping out several times to fall into rabbit holes: I held up my hands for help, He lifted me and am saved...

I asked God for an immaculate heart,
He said, He would have to tear down
the present one! I said, yes Lord;
So He tore it down, it fell into a million pieces; shredded, useless and forlorn
No, I could not complain, for, it was I who asked: He gave me what I wanted, He did comfort me constantly; He laid His hands around me: sinner that I am, He opened the eyes of my heart to see, to leave behind my sinful ways; to walk with Him always, one day I felt different without any burden in my heart, He looked at me how only He could look, with all compassion, love and mercy, He said, I am glad you asked me that day, to give you an immaculate heart...

They say diamonds are forever
And so am I
Crushed beneath piles of dreams
Someday someone came scooped
Me from beneath the rubble
Dusted me free of all dirt
With His own blood
Washed me and made me
As white as snow
I glitter in His light
Though sinful I am
He made me His own forever...

have you felt all alone? Nothing and no one with you in mind, soul or spirit. Completely alone, you hear the wolves howl far away calling out to the pack to get together for the hunt, it’s full moon; the familiar owl hoots and suddenly stops mid hoot as if it spotted its prey, careful not to shoo it off, I stood by the french window trying to get a glance at the rickety  gate hanging gingerly on the fence, apologetically squeaking as if some one trying to open it wide enough to enter. And there she stood baggage and purse balanced in one hand slowly walking up the path to the front door. My loneliness trickled away into spheres unknown, when did I feel alone!? Is it only me who feels this way?