I lie.
I lie to myself, I lie to others,
I lie to keep them happy.
I lie to keep my heart and eyes.
I lie to stay awake sometimes
Just so I can fear sleep.
I lie in bed at night sometimes
Dying as I weep.
I lie to those around me,
Friends I've known for so long.
I lie to perfect strangers
So they feel nothing can go wrong.
I lie to keep myself at bay,
So my mind can feel normal.
When I don't lie, I feel as though
Everyone would hate that I'm abnormal.
These lies I tell my heart,
Just to keep me in check,
All those days I used to have when
No lies I would tell can affect.
The outlook I used to have on life
When my thoughts were oh so callous.
But the more I lie, the more I find,
There's no use in finding balance.
My lie lived life can never stop
As long as I continue to live to lie.
But the thing that hurts the most is when
The love of false makes me sigh.
I will accept my faults, as a liar lost
Within this world I create to be.
But don't hate me when I set myself
Apart from those lies that had set me free.
JMC, 2010