We are but a blinding light,
blinding life and all it's might.

when she sees us, it is all blur.
stars become puffs of light and the moon is
trapped in a glowing sac.

O life is a kaleidescope of chances,
of choice and of left footed dancers.

and when we rest all we see is darkness,
when our bodies die in bed we are free,
we roam the dreamworld like a nomad,
we walk and never see our own hands...

we climb the hills of evergreen,
we ride the blades of the windmills,
we swim the rivers of wine and honey,
we bite the cherries and spit whisky on melancholies. . .

and then we wake. . .

with blood in our lips,
we smirk at life
and we all die once again,
like it all really happened.

And when I get the chance to look you in the eye again,
And when will I get that same chill when our lips collided.
When will I get trough that narrow door again?
And when I get to grasp those  little hands.

Oh how I'd lock myself with you!
I'd throw the keys into the galaxy.
and pray to the gods that it'd be lost for eternity.
****** in a vortex of deluded ecstasy.

Time is a looping straight line.
But if I could cut it in one end and end up with you.
I'll cut time into countless pieces.
and I'd be falling again and again in a well so Endless.

declare yourself immaculate.
the things we love,
are the things we wish we ultimately hate.

according to my mother happiness was a choice
religion country then family a fortress
and why was I so sad and cold
According to daddy at least
I wasn’t in Karachi where rats and corpses littered the streets
jesus bled a ******* lot in the streets of another city
and was my redemption
but how was he different from
another corpse?
how was
his blood and dissolution
different,
besides a better eulogizer?
He seemed to me
simply a man
a philosopher betrayed
by supposed friends
I did not find redemption in confirmation
of the knowledge of gold rimmed pages
and biased text.
Where I found divinity
was in the flesh and blood arms
of people that I vaguely knew
they held me together
while biochemicals
tore me apart from my moorings
and there were no lies
about salvation through death
they said only,
once you go,
you can’t come back.

i was drinking orange ****** ***** with Kitty
the mushroom cloud destroyer,
my compatriot, my downfall
the sky was purple and the grass was red
and we plotted the end of the world
we fought for dominance i lost
sat on my street corner
stealing kisses from
passersby like a magpie,
plucking the shiny buttons off coats.
  when I became the queen of sheba,
decked to the nines in brass buttons
confiscated corroded combustible
i rode an elephant called shiva the destroyer
and sliced long cuts with a sword into my legs
and the white scars were like hope.
i played backgammon and chess with multiple lovers
and they all lost because i was an impenetrable fortress.
I wore the red crown and stabbed out their hearts with my pointed teeth.
then i sat upon the edge of the world alone,
tore out the cores of a million and four  sunflowers
and watched all of the people riding trains
and walking in the parks holding the hand of someone else
someone who isn’t cold Kitty
as the violet sun began to set
i dreamed of what someone else’s hand
bones skin muscle corpulent sinew warmth
and I slept like an obsidian stone.