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8.4k · Jul 2013
A Desperate Human Engineer
Nobody Jul 2013
She sees herself as a machine,
Something that can be fixed
By a brilliant engineer, as herself

She's aware that she needs help
Yet she refuses every offer she gets
Cause she believes the broken ones
Can be fixed by brilliant engineers, like her

A day came when she doesn’t know herself no more,
So she tried to know herself once more
And rebuilt it like she used to rebuild a broken machine

Yes, she was slowly destroying herself
Like a mechanic engineer destroying
A broken machine
To know what’s wrong with it

Drugs for her brain
Toxic pills for her liver
Cigarettes for her lungs
Blades for her skin

She finally knew what’s wrong with her
And tried to fix herself once more
But none of her attempts worked
Instead, her attempts destroyed herself even more

She came to a realisation
That humans are no machines
Once broken, no one can fix them,
Not even themselves
2.6k · Jul 2013
The Thermostat - Thermometer
Nobody Jul 2013
In the land of Temperature
I met Thermostat - Thermometer

What does thermometer do anyway?
A thermometer tells you the temperature whether it’s cold or hot
But it does nothing about the situation it identifies
It only measures and whether we like it or not
What about thermostat?
Thermostats function in a way that when it senses a room is cold,
it quickly and quietly starts the machinery necessary to bring the cold room to an acceptable temperature
If a room is hot, a thermostat cues the system to cool the room
It restores the balance, it assess the situation and make a difference.
I named her Thermostat – Thermometer
‘Cause she can be a thermostat to others
When she senses there’s something wrong around her
She always does something to make it right like a thermostat does
Sadly, she can only be a thermometer to herself
She knows there’s something wrong with her
Yet she can’t do something
‘Cause she also needs a thermostat
A thermostat to make it right for her

It makes me wonder how many people out there
Acting like thermostat to others
But they can only act as thermometer to theirselves
Hoping that someday
A thermostat changes the situation where they are in
1.4k · May 2018
Self Hate
Nobody May 2018
Do you know that feeling when you start hating someone?
Not because they did something terrible to you
It's just their entire existence bothers you

Do you know that feeling when you see a cockroach?
That strong hatred and urge to **** them without a reason?

Now imagine you are that someone or that cockroach
The someone you cannot run away from
The someone you have to put up with
The cockroach you need take care of

Now tell me
How do you even begin to deal with that in every second of your entire existence and not wanting to end it all?
847 · Jun 2013
Drowning in the Dark
Nobody Jun 2013
A part of her is being eradicated every night
Every time she goes to doze,
The darkness within her guzzles that part
Like a cloud casing the light of moon in the night

She woke up every morning longing for that part
A part of her vivid and memorable yesterday
That leisurely taken away from her
And gradually placing it with emptiness

A day came when darkness utterly frenzied
The diminutive radiance left in her
That day the old her was wholly vanished
Her exquisite self can be found nowhere

She’s alive but living without existence
Felt nothing but pain, emptiness, and loneliness
Those emotions used to be unknown to her
Yet became all she known after that tragic day

Light left her childlike eyes
Brimming with nothing but emptiness
Yet people seen her with overflowing love
Cause she lingered mysterious till the last beat of her heart
818 · Jan 2016
Things I Long For
Nobody Jan 2016
I hope the day comes
The day I finally fall in love with this wonderful life
With the beauty that surrounds me

I want to feel privilege that I'm part of this sublime world
Feel each day as an exciting opportunity to be alive

To fall in love with someone who loves me as his girl and treats me as a human being
To make someone feel fortunate he still breathes whenever he sees me

Be in a place where it feels like home
Somewhere that will make me feel I belong
736 · Jun 2013
No senses
Nobody Jun 2013
I was in front of you but you just looked through me
I yelled at you but you didn't hear a single word
I punched you but you didn't feel anything
I sprayed a vanilla scent but you smelled nothing

I cried because I felt like I got stabbed in the heart
But you didn't notice because you were blinded by your sight
I faked a smile just for you to notice but all you saw was my lovely smile
I stopped talking just to show you I was in so much pain
But you just thought I needed some time alone

So I said I love you and good night
But you just said see you tomorrow and smiled
The next day I was found dead with a genuine smile
But all you saw was a damaged brunette you loved but ignored
712 · Apr 2016
The View
Nobody Apr 2016
It's one thirty in the afternoon,  
Still waiting to be interviewed
For a job I might never get.

Looking outside from a 17th floor of a 30 story building, I got amazed by how beautifully blue the sky is,
The brightness of the sun perfectly compliments the color of the sky.

People walking under the heat of the sun;
Their cheeks being kissed by warm air that passes by,
The warm wind blowing their hair,
And blowing the leaves of the trees beside the streets.

Seeing these simple yet spectacular beauty,
Makes me want to sit still until my eyes slowly closed... permanently
But then my name was called.
676 · Jan 2019
I Want to be Free
Nobody Jan 2019
I want to be free
Free from an anger built inside me
Free from being sad for no reason
Free from being lonely when I shouldn't be
Free from caring what people may think or say
Free from feeling I don't belong anywhere
Free from the anchor that keeps pulling me down
I just want to be free
I want to live in peace
502 · Feb 2017
Traffic Lesson
Nobody Feb 2017
No matter how close your destination is,
You'll never get there if you are just standing still.
370 · Jan 2016
Heartbeat
Nobody Jan 2016
I'm not even nervous
But my heart beats like it is
I can feel every beat of it on my chest
Beat beat beat

I'm calmly walking down the street,
But my heart beats like I've been running all along
Beat beat beat

I'm having a friendly conversation,
But my heart beats like I'm hearing something devastating
Beat beat beat

I'm listening to my favorite songs,
Slowly my heartbeat rhythms with every tone I hear, and feels every beat on my head

It's the only kind of beat I desire to feel and hear
349 · Nov 2021
The Wind
Nobody Nov 2021
I felt the wind on my cheeks
It felt like a warm hug
It felt like your hug
322 · Mar 2016
Some Kind Of Happiness
Nobody Mar 2016
Here I am lying in my bed
In my favourite place to be
Listening to a good arrangement of sounds
With well articulated words
I could never speak
Letting it pull me down
Underneath the sea
Letting it drown me for hours
Breathing is hard
But I somehow find myself
Loving this feeling
308 · Jun 2016
Homeless
Nobody Jun 2016
I have home
But I'm homeless
Strange indeed

I should feel home in my own body
But I don't, I never did.

That's probably why I've been dreaming to have someone,
Someone I can claim my home.

That's probably why I always felt I should be somewhere else,
Because nowhere is home.
307 · Apr 2016
Anonymity
Nobody Apr 2016
It's terrifying,
knowing you can never know,
who someone is.

Someone can talk to you everyday,
But never actually told you anything.

Someone can wear a smile perfectly,
But is actually in tremendous pain.

Someone can treat you as a friend,
But never even considered you as one.

Someone can make you feel special,  
But you are actually nothing to them.
Do you truly know someone?
235 · May 2018
Isn't Life Cruel?
Nobody May 2018
People who want to stay
have to leave too soon

Yet people who want to leave
Are forced to stay for too long
201 · Mar 2018
Is It Worth It?
Nobody Mar 2018
Do you know what scares me the most?
Falling deeply in love for the wrong person.
People say you'll never know until you try,
but the truth is,
you're not going to find out until it's too late.
You'll just end up having to deal with that unspeakable feeling he caused that you may never recover from in your entire existence.
187 · Apr 2018
What is this feeling?
Nobody Apr 2018
I don't know what it is
But I can feel it
I know it's flowing through my veins

It's been there
Who knows when

But I can feel it
I can feel it becoming part of me
A part I want to get rid of
But I don't how without draining
Every single drop of my blood
To make sure it's gone forever

— The End —