time is all i've ever really owned.
and time has come and gone.

there were girls.
there were nights.
there were connections.

but everything is tenuous.
as feelings, dedication and chemicals.

someone kissed me in my sleep.
and i slept when they kissed another.

i have held on until my hands melted.
never a consolation prize,
only a consolation price.

sacrifice is not worth pride.
money is not worth pride.
flesh is not worth pride.

all i've found that's worth pride,
is time.

and time has come and gone.

i'm told there's such a thing as love.

but i think it's a vacuum,
of space and time.

i walk all year on embers,
only finding ashes.

and i'm told it's some great prize.
but my vitality seemed a greater victory.

while we're doing the body count,
can we amass the ones who had potential?

the ones who got away, shouldn't have.
and vice versa.

i'll drink to my redemption tonight.
because i never had a chance.

i should have freed myself from your shackles
long before i did.

but they still follow me.
in every step,
every shadow.

before i melt myself down,
know this...

history will repeat,
and it only gets uglier.

within these saturated walls,
a grace will come.
as pure as lightning.
and the fire it stole.
but not for you.
and definitely not for me.

in all the condolences,
i find self-righteousness and laughter.
the laughter screams not of mockery, but sheer jubilation.

there are 12 cars, like 12 horsemen.

what will we do about this?

the sanctity of devotion has eroded
into stubs.

i will stay behind
tallying the wrongs

for what?

a grateful notion won't bring me back.
a moral lesson won't be learned.

we have bequeathed terror since our births

and there's no way out

never a way out.

if all these intricacies are to be lost
then let someone celebrate

it won't be me

i have given everything  for a lack of return on investment

someone used to watch me sleep

but i slept too much

and now.....

the gold, time and investment...
all for naught

when the time comes,
we'll see how things even out

but for now,
just static and white noise.

insipid as last time,
your actions speak for themselves.

drive-by sentiments
and empty endeavors.

trees lean over,
but words fall.
striking the head like a fierce, blunt object.

only this time your crime was unseen
'cause i didn't even exist where there were any observers.