I'm thinking that I like you a lot, but its kinda weird.
Do you like me or not, I thought it was kinda clear you did?
But they way you treat me doesn't make me feel so sure.
I'm predicting that I never have deep feelings for you
I'm afraid of getting hurt, of being embarrassed.
I think I'll tell you that when I see whats going on.
It's only been awhile, it's okay.
Calm down, Kathleen.

But at least I try.
I know about people more than one might expect.
I understand people, maybe because I understand myself.
I'm honest with myself about how I feel.
I feel like I'm not as strange as I once thought.
Other people have thoughts like me.

I thought I wanted to be unique, but I just want to be understood.
Hey, can you understand me too?

Maybe I don't understand myself, very well.
But, I accept myself, I try to love myself, and I know whats best.
I am independent, and genuine, I can do it all.
I can do anything, I don't think it will be easy, but I can.

I wish I could ask others questions like I do myself.
I will probably get as good as an answer as I get out of myself.
But I'll feel better anyway.

I fell out of poetry, singing, drawing, and painting.
Somehow sewing, make-up, AP, and seeing a counselor replaces all of the above.
I feel bad about myself--I really feel bad about myself.
I feel like ****, like no one appreciates me.
I am not valuable, not important.

I need my medicine, without it I would be sludge.
I'm not focusing.
My anxiety is worsening.
I can't tell if I am better or worse.
I can't tell if I am..anything at all.

I thought I had myself all figured out
I thought that when I was in one of these 'moods' or having one of those "days" I was only looking through a tinted window where I saw everything negatively
But I realized
that it is the pills that sugar coat my world in synthetic happiness

It's not what I look through, its me.
Its on my insides, the sugar has to slide down my throat
to make it all better

she said it would even me out
i thought she was right at first
but now i realized she was a liar, and only a liar

I'm the one that needs to be sugar coated for others.
I'm the sour candy coated with fine powdered sugar.
I'm the bad that the good is trying to cover up.
And that is sickening, but how do I react?
Take another pill, Kathleen.

I don't think I've said a word to you.
But the first time I saw you, I wanted to see more of you.

So let me tell the story,
one day you showed up in my 2nd period, and the next you were gone, and I longed...
I saw you on the way to 3rd a week later, and noticed you have a part of your head shaved under your lovely hair.
I've always wanted to talk to you, but can never find the words. ( or the time)
So today 5 weeks later(or so) I saw you in the testing room and couldn't stop staring at the back of your head. I see you're from a different state. I found out your name was Ravenn.

Man, that's super cool. Are you as dark as Raven from Teen Titans?
I wonder if I'll ever speak to you, cause I really hope I do.