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 Feb 2014 panini
erin
To You
 Feb 2014 panini
erin
You are the manifestation of perfection.
There's not a flaw you possess that doesn't outshine the stars,
there's not a word you utter that doesn't create its own alphabet,
and there's not an action you take that doesn't inspire a revolution.
While the rest of the universe is black and white,
you reflect prismatic waves in the eyes of everyone you pass.
The flowers in your hand couldn't compare to the fingers holding them,
the same ones that brought me back to life when they tucked my hair behind my ear
like tucking the sun into your pocket.
And maybe you mistook the sun for another old jelly bean
because every time you smile I see it shine through your teeth.
Your teeth are jagged like a mountain range
and every word you whisper is another flake of snow gently gracing the summit.
When you move an orchestra performs,
muscles and trumpets, ligaments and cellos all flow in pure harmony.
Sometimes I think music was written simply to accompany your body.
Looking at your body I could believe the world really is a safe place;
from the curve of your shoulder to the round of your heel,
everything is smooth and peaceful.
I'm not afraid that once you're gone your presence will be lost
because everything you touch is left with a phosphorescent glow,
a constant reminder that perfection does not only exist in myths
but in everything.
 Feb 2014 panini
meg
as a thirteen year old,
I had to grow up a little too fast and put up my big girl pants on
due to daddy losing his job.

as a thirteen year old,
I found a new way of expressing myself.
but, instead of painting or screaming,
I did both,
and began painting with crimson
and screaming along with the rest of the voices in my head.

as a fourteen year old,
I turned down the medication they said I needed to survive
and got clean,
deciding I could do it all on my own.

as a fifteen year old,
I fell in love with a boy that was no good for me,
and whose worlds were like gasoline,
and whose touch was like fire.
daddy never approved,
and mommy always shook her head in disappointment.

as a sixteen year old,
I lost myself in whiskey,
and fell back into using my thighs as a canvas
after three years of being clean.

as a sixteen year old,
my eyes stung with salt water from crying an ocean almost every night.
and I lost my soul and became a walking corpse with dead lifeless eyes.

as a sixteen year old,
I never got along with mommy.
I told her we shouldn't talk anymore.
I told her I hated her.

as a sixteen year old,
I look back on when I was thirteen,
and I'm blown away with how much of a disappointment I am.
and how saving myself isn't something I want.
it's something I need.

as a thirteen year old,
I never thought I'd be such an awful daughter,
and such a terrible person.
and I most defiantly never thought my life
would turn out as tragic as
*this
 Feb 2014 panini
Chuma Komani
He
Met her when he
Was walking down the road
Eye contact so intense
Even their minds connected
But it was in
Utter silence

Both minds were talking
Talking with body language
Which he spoke fluent
And she could understand clearly

A week later
He
Invaded her space
A week later
He
Fondled her
And in that same week
He
Kissed her

Kisses from neck to toe
Going down slow
Past the stomach
Then to the...
Oh

The lip biting
Love biting
The
Heavy breathing
Touch pleasing

As his hand
Went down
He found out that
She's wet
Wet as...
The fish that swim
In the ocean

Every time he wanted *******
The course
Of her morals intervened
Creating that space between
Them...

The mind and body
Were one
But their souls
Were apart
 Jan 2014 panini
Raj Arumugam
the day we lost A
we all went without apples
and the doctors had a field day

Anna was completely lost
and she sounded like
a mathematical notion
gone wrong;
Ali had an identity crisis –
he wondered if he was Chinese

And horrors – we didn’t have any articles
so you couldn’t say “a pen”
and you could only say “’n oven”

The bills still came in as all days
(don’t you worry about that)
but World Soccer had to be cancelled
as they didn’t have a ball
And the women
they pulled the pants off the men
and laughed:
“Where are your *****? All you’ve got are blls!"

And so the appalling day rolled on
a-less and aimless

but hey, there was one consolation:
there were no arseholes  
leading the nations of the
world that day
 Jan 2014 panini
Mike Hauser
Who am I Lord
That you are mindful of me
A tiny drop of rain
In a wide expansive sea
What could I ever give
That you could ever need
Who am I Lord
That you are mindful of me

Who am I Lord
That you should bless this wretched man
In all the scope of time
I'm but one single grain of sand
After all I've put you through
You still take me as I am
Who am I Lord
That you should bless this wretched man

Who am I lord
That I would ever deserve
All the mercy poured on me
In the power of your word
Why did you choose these ears
To be the ones to have heard
Who am I Lord
That I would ever deserve

Who Am I Lord
That you could want this heart of mine
It's so rough around the edges
It's been hurt so many times
I know that if I give it to you
It will be forever thine
Who am I Lord
That you could want this heart of mine

It is only by the blood of Christ
That I know exactly who I am
And only by that precious blood
Do I now have the power to stand
The power in your blood poured out
To justify this sinful man
It is only by the blood of Christ
That I know exactly who I am
 Jan 2014 panini
Harry J Baxter
Not all monsters have bodies
no,
some monsters are whispers in the middle of the night
the whispers which never stop
they come rising up from the pit of your stomach
the back of your neck
and the lungs in your chest
these monstrous whispers
creeping in from open window
on full moon nights
they say the things
which we know aren’t right
but we believe anyway
these voices
they say things
like you are not good enough
just give up
know when enough is enough
they laugh in moments of silence
come creeping in with self-doubt
not a whimper
not a shout
just a sense of stillness when the lights go out
keeping you up at night on the edge of a knife
too exhausted
to keep up the fight
you worry
how long will these monsters have their foothold
in the panicked pounding of my eardrums?
these monsters which spit on self-love
and lick their gums at the sight
of a broken down frown
of a person wound too tight
but these monsters don’t have bodies
arms legs claws and fangs
these monsters are just voices
all you have to do is drown them out
 Jan 2014 panini
Zia
broken
 Jan 2014 panini
Zia
your days are filled with nothing but Pain
and you're dead inside - so numb - no hope of being kissed awake
from this Land of Emptiness,  dark and dreary
where the air is so cold and chills your bones
and it's all just an absolute Nightmare

except there are no Scary Monsters;
just the foreboding voice of The End -
its silence screams your Name
and haunts you as you trudge
along the Frozen Shores of your Heart

there is no Oxygen here - no way for you to breathe
you're perpetually choking and you can't start a Fire -
can't warm your numbed hands - and there is Nobody
out There to ease the aches that this Solitude brings -
It sweeps over the Tundras you've come to call "Home"

— The End —