The next time my eyelids touch
I better not see your face again
I've torn myself too ******* much
From our storm way back when

(This is the point where I lose my focus and just go to sleep)

The gift, the curse
The reason for life
It helps, it destroys
Just the same as a knife
We take it for granted
It's a wonderful thing
It never goes to waste
Like a beautiful ring
It taps on windows
It breaks down doors
It revives nature
But, that's what it's made for
If you ask yourself
What brings joy and pain?
My favorite thing in the world
The Rain

My body is punishing me
For the change in weather
Just like what my mind did
The months after we were together

I rebuilt myself with help
From nothing and everything
But my heart still beats for you
And trust me, it's terrifying

Frustration from this hopeless love
Can never be fully diminished
If there was a blue flame, it's red now
Against everything I've wished

Although I crave a companion
To embark on this treacherous journey
I'll always have your ghost near
So why bother trying to be happy?

This keyboard has never felt more like home
When it bridges the 500 miles between us
I use to be so confident behind my vocabulary
But now these notebooks are all gathering dust

Repetition is my only skill now
But it's the only thing you're used to
I want to show you the secrets I hide
But I guess I don't know them too

I don't care if the time of year is coincidental
To the way I'm trying to change who I am
I still have to fulfill the promise I made
To improve this ******* I built with these two hands

I'm done questioning myself and my motives
They're what brought me to this point in time
The world's going to need a new pair of pants
After my body's clock has it's last chime

I wrote about her
It was always for her

I'm only twenty years old
With one tragedy to claim my own
And I act as though I'm battle-worn
When the real threat was never shown

I've ruined my vision of love
With the memories of our destructive ways
I'm broken and falling under
Slowly trying to replicate our escapades

I never want to feel that passion
If it's towards you, and only you
But I need what we had together
This haze is difficult to see through

I wrote about you
It was always about you
I destroyed my future for a chance
**A ******* chance

I’ve tried and tried
For nights upon nights
To see when I fell in love with you

But, even back when you seemed like just another face
I still strongly believe my heart was in your place

Both your house and your arms
From our first hello to our last attempt to keep warm

I need to stop this before I ruin it
But I just needed to tell/show
That our love for each other and what we have
Is the oldest and most amazing thing
I’ll ever know

Everyone is so scared of me
Of my future
And my past
And everything in between

It's not fair that they get to plant
The single seed
Of their doubt
When I always said I freaking can't

Now my mind is no longer
In the clouds
Above the pressure
And my love growing stronger

No, now it's back to planet earth
Amidst the fear
The continuous struggle
Of questioning our love's worth

I know I jumped in too early
But my love
For everyone here
Is too much for this to be

Just another failure