Slowly our lips separate
The air heavy with desire
You retreat into darkness
Heat quickly rising higher

My intentions become null
For love and respect alone
Is this act duplicated by him?
Are the same feelings shown?

In a few minutes
You will have had your release
Your alone time
Your stress relieving time

And I will join you then
With different blankets and sheets
Different attitudes
Different emotions

But why act like I'm important
When I'm not the only one that sleeps
On your mattress
Against your skin

Why try to make me feel better
By talking about our life in big leaps
Learning and fighting
Marriage and children

I don't need consoling like that
No matter what I think I might need
Release of stress
Or just alone time

I don't need it

Everyone is so scared of me
Of my future
And my past
And everything in between

It's not fair that they get to plant
The single seed
Of their doubt
When I always said I freaking can't

Now my mind is no longer
In the clouds
Above the pressure
And my love growing stronger

No, now it's back to planet earth
Amidst the fear
The continuous struggle
Of questioning our love's worth

I know I jumped in too early
But my love
For everyone here
Is too much for this to be

Just another failure

Usually I'm pretty good with words
But you turn my vocabulary
Into something completely absurd
But not as bad as it could be

Like a fat kid to a piece of chocolate pie
Our lips were bound to touch
But with held hands and locked eyes
The desire was too ******* much

By the way, your lips are soft as hell
There really is no other way to describe them
And where we go from here is hard to tell
But it'll be a lot more fun than before then

(This is the part where I **** up the subtlety of this poem.)

Through text
We talk as confident playmates
Through voices
We talk as awkward soul mates

I lost an hour in your arms
But only the second hand moved
The restraint was unbearable
With the sight of beautiful you

But it was the best I'd felt in years

My heart-rate is unreadable
But for something I can't describe
This is probably just me being an idiot
Or just something I shouldn't advertise

But it seems like we dance around
The elephant in the ******* room
Just making sure our skin doesn't tear
When it touches under the sun or moon

I just can't ******* tell right now
If this is mutual or just in my head
A mockery of my emotional distress
Or signals that are correctly read

I won't be able to focus on anything
Besides my insides being torn apart
Should I feel bad about these feelings?
This situation demolishes my heart

I'll tell you when you pinched a nerve
Like when we talked that Thursday night
But is it OK if I'm still totally confused?
And only slightly filled with fright?

I crossed your imaginary line
We both knew was there already
Your precision of dismemberment
Always failed to surprise me

People say duct tape fixes everything
But hatred and regret work even better
My world has been built from failures
That come from every single ******* letter

The devastation
You left my heart in
Clouds my perception
Of forgiveness

The next time my eyelids touch
I better not see your face again
I've torn myself too ******* much
From our storm way back when

(This is the point where I lose my focus and just go to sleep)

How should I feel?
What rhyme scheme is it this time?
Is it generic and overused?
Or unexpected and real?

Should it be anger?
Or sadness and regret?
Wait, aren't those the same?
I forget

Should I be happy?
Or too scared to be sappy?

Someone tell me the emotion I should feel today

The thing that made me feel anything left
The day she sent that stupid message
The useless hours spent at the mall
I despise it all

Was it the comparisons to other people?
Or the unjustifiable denial I had?
The solution was inconceivable
At least when I was mad

But now, there is nothing at all
Just all laid out on the wall
Taunting me with every sleepless night
So someone force me to laugh
To cry or show my wrath
So I can feel human and then I just might

Learn my rhyme scheme again

My eyelids should feel like anchors
Ready to sink and aid my attempts to sleep
But they are more like open sails
Guiding me to thoughts I shouldn't keep

You don't need me to cause havoc
On the island you call home
It just gets so lonely out here
On the waves of life, alone

But you've nurtured your shelter
To where you have things figured out
My life never changes, but I insist
It's me who's caused that to come about

I'll make sure to stay in the reefs
Littered around your safe haven
And if my boat gets torn to smithereens
I promise I'll drown before I give in

Because you are my friend
Even if just under certain circumstances
So let's tell silly jokes to everyone
Until the wind pulls us apart by great distances

Momentum is the only thing keeping me
From losing my mind and all that I've worked for
Our memories drag with the weight of worlds
Each reminding me why I regret everything before

But this wheel has picked up too much speed
To stop for useless feelings and unsaid words
So, sorry, but not sorry, about that little detail
And please stop making my emotions seem absurd

I've learned to feed this fire without your help
And I plan on keeping it nice and tall
Your carbon dioxide and water is not needed
And stay away from the fire extinguisher on the wall

Just do what you do best and be happy
Or sad, or angry, I could really care less
I thought I needed you in my life forever
But all you gave me was emptiness

Do me one last favor, please?
Keep not talking to me like I'm a disease

I love every second of it

The moth flies towards the light
Seeking shelter from the monsters
But, as it soaks in the warm embrace
A door shuts, and the safety it felt shatters

But the light is still there
So the moth hovers around it's surface
It finally has a home for the night
No matter what it's instinct says

Just as it lands in the perfect spot
And tucks it's wings in to rest
The moth feels a sudden chill
The light vanished, leaving it in a mess

It climbs the walls and windows
Desperately searching for a way out
But it soon gives up hope of surviving
And asks itself what this was all about

Soon the family that lived there
Finds the moth next to the front door
And sticks it in a glass case
So they can admire it forevermore

Now, were the humans cruel
To bring about that fate?
Or was the moth just unlucky
Simply being in the wrong place?

It's quite dark in here
With this boulder above my head
You've been out in the sunshine for years
While I've been practically brain-dead

You've been able to have the time
To get comfortable with how you feel
But when I'm ****** into your changes
You expect me to accept what's now real

With no help from your end
When I've helped you for years
I'm struggling, but still managing
To add you to my list of fears

Because you said you can't stand
To watch me slowly lose my mind
But you forget that I was there with you
When you lost it. Every time

But you have your new family
And your new boyfriend to go to
I don't care if you think you need me
I sure as hell don't need you

And, hopefully with time, I never will
So go live your life on that sunny hill

The pen touches the page
And I am whisked away
To the inner emotions I never show
Instead of moving forward
I act like a giant coward
And lock them up deeper below

I've tried time and time again
To believe that we were always just friends
But I can't see you with someone else
My heart attacks my feeble mind
If it so much as tries to find
The courage to just let you be yourself

Our hearts were engulfed in my chaos
Causing suffering, denial, and loss
But it split our universe in pieces
Your distance from me might seem the same
But, to me, you're galaxies away
And no amount of patience can fix this

I brought this on myself
For trying to keep you safe
And now our love is strong
But useless, like this page

The satellites betray us
In lies told by followers
We choose to believe because
It is all we have ever heard

Sunlight blinded my future
And brought drought to my past
When everyone was certain
There would soon be an overcast

You brought the darkness
The winds and the flood
Not knowing it was essential
Drenching me in water and mud

I danced in your storm's embrace
While you took shelter in my dry spell
We complimented each other perfectly
But the satellites couldn't tell

Your tempest shifted direction
And I was left chasing clouds
You found shelter before the last rainfall
Leaving me shaking and without sound

There are still temporary storms
That roar through my fields
But you no longer need the sunlight
And I am no longer am a shield

Let the followers believe the satellites
I know the truth now

My thought process gets clouded
Like a public shower that's too crowded
When you waltz into my mind
My vocal chords are slit open
And pull out from my rotting skin
When you asked me why I'm too kind

The way I treat you is foreign here
On this unassuming blue sphere
I'm an alien to this thing called love
When you act like I praise you too much
And smile at the slightest feel of your touch
I want to take your past to a cliff and just shove

The forest, that is me, cannot be navigated
Only landscaped and appreciated
There is a great view of the lake
Once you make a home and get comfortable
I can give you a life that's more affordable
There's just one favor I'll have to take

Do you have room in your heart for me?

Ever changing notebooks
To accommodate the various pens
A collection of words to match
But only one person to attend

Is it lonely up on that stage?
Would you rather be on the balcony?
Far away from the center of attention
But never changing distance from me

I have tried to build a life
Out of the only thing I can control
When those fail me, will it be alright?
Will they hold off the torment of our souls?

The fate I have scrawled out for us
Was only on pages like these
If you're writing in a different tone
You never have to get on your knees

Communication is what keeps us alive
It creates unbreakable bonds
Please read me your pages
So our souls will remain strong

The gift, the curse
The reason for life
It helps, it destroys
Just the same as a knife
We take it for granted
It's a wonderful thing
It never goes to waste
Like a beautiful ring
It taps on windows
It breaks down doors
It revives nature
But, that's what it's made for
If you ask yourself
What brings joy and pain?
My favorite thing in the world
The Rain

I've relied on my words for my sanity
But the pixels are unforgiving and calculated
My bones can not express myself clearly
They creak and moan with years of hatred

This distance is only sustained
With airwaves and power lines
Late nights with mono dialogues
My ears cave in and create mines

I have changed and we both know it
The seasons exclaim that knowledge
Our seperation bombards my happiness
Further driving in that wedge

Every other time we could make it work
Our hearts interlinked in lines like these
If we could make what we have out of nothing
Then we WILL bring any obstacle to it's knees

We both have been through our own wars
And we can still smile, laugh, sing
So just survive the onslaught with me
And we will conquer everything