They try to tear me down
They try to make me hate you
They say you a sociopath
They dont know what ive been through
They dont understand my fears
They dont understand if you lock me up i will panic
They dont understand i dont stay in relationships because im scared if being trapped
And they also dont understand how I feel safe with you

Lord im such a mess
God im so depressed

I walk in darkness
I crawl through spring

Green is nature its naive
Its hides they the dullness of the world
It cries sometimes too
It yells in good company
With hurtles down from the sky
Nature is a person
And she is very expressive

They dont understand how it feels to have good grades but one f and hate your self because of it
They dont understand how i can forget something you told me 5 seconds ago
They dont understand how much it hurts when they say im not a ******
They dont understand how it feels to be called a **** when im still a ******
They dont understand how much i cry everynight
They dont understand why i feel this way
And i dont understand why i havent killed myself yet

I cant go on
Im sorry to leave
Im to weak to cut
So pills it will be
My pain is real
The reminders will never leave
My dad hit me
A car accident too
Its all to much
Im just to low
I get told im lying about the truth
But no one will ever love me like i love you
Here it goes im sorry for the truth
I love you but it wasnt enough
Tell my mom i love her
Tell her to take care of Howie, Angel, and Topaz too
Ill be watching with no hope to move on
If i wake up ill will hope im gone
But i wont tell anyone
Wont be the first time
Leave me here to die
Dont say i didnt try
My heart is broken
My eyes are open
Ive seen enough to want it to end
Goodbye the end

You hit me i cry
But you never give me a reason why

I hate my body
I hate my skin
Oh lord why cant i be thin
Maybe then i could be happy
Just ten more pounds
Then it will be the end

the pain is worse when your words come out
the words hurt my soul with untold amount

If we are all shining stars im fading away
If we are all tears im drying up
If we are all dresses im the one in the back of the closet never worn

I used to be the girl who lost her self in her surroundings
Who felt safe walking through a drug infested city
Who had no fear
Who threw ice coffees at her friends when she got upset
Who cried when there was no one there to hold her
I used to love being surrounded by people

That was me two years ago

I am the girl who has no self esteem
Who feels safe with no one and no where
Who doesnt love herself
Who is mega emotional
Who has been in a hospital
Who cries all the time
I am the girl who tries to isolate her self from everyone and everthing