I cant have a good day because my best friend has to ruin it for me.

You used to hit me
Now you see
The perfect woman im trying to be
I take pills cut and burn but nobody knows
I wish i could tell everyone so
But dad dont you see i still try to make you proud
After all the abuse i still want you to love me
Dad i cant say this to aloud
I love you but i cant let go

Sorry dad you have been gone from age 9 to now im almost 17
2 months dad
2 months till the last time i saw you was 8 years
How does it feel you missed half of my life
We talk now
Havent i been through enough

I cant go on
Im sorry to leave
Im to weak to cut
So pills it will be
My pain is real
The reminders will never leave
My dad hit me
A car accident too
Its all to much
Im just to low
I get told im lying about the truth
But no one will ever love me like i love you
Here it goes im sorry for the truth
I love you but it wasnt enough
Tell my mom i love her
Tell her to take care of Howie, Angel, and Topaz too
Ill be watching with no hope to move on
If i wake up ill will hope im gone
But i wont tell anyone
Wont be the first time
Leave me here to die
Dont say i didnt try
My heart is broken
My eyes are open
Ive seen enough to want it to end
Goodbye the end

I hate my body
I hate my skin
Oh lord why cant i be thin
Maybe then i could be happy
Just ten more pounds
Then it will be the end

EID OT TNAW I

Is it possible to love those who hurt you
I do everyday but i still dont love me