The weekend dies
She begins to cry
It started when she cut her hair
Ten months have passed
Her hair is now longer
Her weekend started to flourish
She is, now, nothing compared to how she was
She is the same person, just not malnourished
She learned to fly and live again
She knew that when the time comes
She, no longer, is held by the memory
She decided to let go of the things that slow her down
She decided to accept how things are not meant to be
She was down but she was taller than ever
Her hair is now longer
But she was reminded that the tides get high and low
Regardless of whether she is fast or slow
The sun does not give up on shining
Just because her tears are increasing
She realized that she is in control of her life
The weekend is out
But she will not be out.

January 15 2017
3:20 AM

You make me sad everyday
For when the sun is rising
It is my heart that is setting
I hope to recover from you
You are like a leech in my blood
All I want is you every waking day of my life
I hate the way you make me feel
But I know that my fears are not real
I am happy when you are suppressed within me
It is a rampage when everyday, all you do is resurface
I dread every event of my fruitful life
When the only thing I am comfortable at is stagnancy
Do not leave me because I will not let you go away
When stigma is what I face the moment I step in the door
I will find my way to recovery
It is hard but I will try not to fall
When all I want to do now is fall, run and let go
Please, make me free from your bind
Let me go because I do not want to remember you
I love it when you stick around like you do
I am close to sleeping now
My eyes are close but my mind is weak
Weak of thinking of the things I cannot do
Things that I know are not real like you always want me to perceive them
Leave me, my sickness, be buried within me
For when I wake up, I know, that I will still be locked with you.
Let us sleep now, hold my hand, never let me go.
It is very hard to shake you and be free from you.

You are therapy to my agony
You are the survival to my emergency
You bring hope to my faithlessness
You are my ears to my deafness

You bring joy to my unhappy life
You supply oxygen to my dying heart
You put laughter to my frowning mouth
You remove, in my heart, the planted knife.

It takes courage to not message or call you.
It takes bravery to forget you.

Did you throw the sketch that you made for me?
I wanted to ask for it but you might not like it.
Did you throw the headset I lent you?
​I wanted to claim it but I don't want to see you.
I don't want to use it as an excuse to talk to you.​

Do you even remember me, even slightly, oh, so faintly?
I still remember you, every day, every second, if you only knew.
I want to forget you, but, hey! Creativity happens whenever I think of you.

You didn't make an effort to even know me
You don't know a single thing about me

I never even heard you call me by my name.
You never said my name.
You don't have the intention to remember my name.

You never said my name.

You, maybe, did... but I can't remember it. What a shame!

Blemishes start to fade away
Excretions are no longer strongly colored
My sadness transforms from hatred
My happiness transforms from sadness
My eyes are slowly smiling
My weight is slowly increasing
Over-the-counter vitamins are just what I’m taking
Water and coffee are just what I’m drinking
Three daily rice meals and snacks in between
Juice on the side and sweets for the win
My hair is growing faster than before
Confidence is back like never before
My extra work is improving
My expenses are slowly diminishing
I feel like my outlook has recovered a lot
I feel like my beauty could be seen on the spot
Why would I ask for more?
I always get what I aim for.

...and I will never write a poem
just because it rhymes with you
Not because of sadness
Not because of happiness
but just because I feel like writing about you

I will never decide on the title
just because my poem forms a riddle
Not because of the chorus
Not that my feelings for you is enormous
but just because I feel like it’s the right thing to do

I will never decide on just doing things
just because you make my heart sing
Not because of what the moment dictates
Not because I just want to retaliate
but just because I know that the ambivalent here is you

I don’t hear from you as much as before
I’m as patient as can be
I try to deny my expectations
I’m as patient as can be

I try not to worry about you thinking about me
I know that you are not
I try not to care of you, me and us
When in fact, there is us because I care about you a lot

If you could only look into my brain
See how everything is causing me so much strain
I hope that you truly care about me
I hope that you truly love me

I try to just feel nothing about everything
I try to appear that I don’t care if you care or not
I wish that you really don’t want to lose me
Because I feel that you can and you will, in reality

I don’t know what I want from you
I don’t even know if I truly love you
If I’m just in love with your existence
I want me to be your reason for existence

We had what we had
Not because you love or care for me
Me as your prototype
She as your final marrying type

I try to keep my cool
I try to appear that everything is normal
I try to appear nonchalant about it
I try to think that it won’t be painful
When you finally say that what we had was awful