I have gotten to that point.
The one with the feelings
that are all too familiar.

The one where I am happier
when I'm not with him.
The one where I am beginning
to feel like I'm staying for him,
not me.
The one where I miss who
I used to be,
and the mind set I had that
protected me from people,
and emotions.
The one where I feel a sense
of freedom when I'm in my
car alone.

I don't know what this means.
Or if I'm just an *******,
or not truly in love.

But I am beginning to feel like
I don't want to live like this
forever.

Even though we're miserable
here.
Sad here,
angry here.
This is where we came
from.

And yet,
somehow we're still here,
so it can't be that bad.

I dream a lot about
being taken away from here,
from this 9-5 job,
from car trouble,
and struggling to pay the rent.
I dream a lot about
a boy with tattoos on
his wrist,
and how his fingers used to
hold me so tightly
after he had one too many
drinks, and he tasted like
beer.
I dream a lot about a man
who showed me what real love
is like,
and helped me realize
that breakfast is my favorite
meal of the day.
And that coffee fixes everything.

So I guess you could say I
dream a lot about the past,
and I keep hoping that somehow
if I wish hard enough
that I can get it all back..

I just still don't know how I'm
ever supposed to get over last summer.

I don't think,
that ever before this time
in our lives,
that it was so hard to get
people to feel passion,
and express it.
Whether it's anger or happiness,
people would find a way
to be open about it.
It's not about just voicing your
opinion on topics,
it's about living hard,
feeling strongly,
loving passionately.
Nobody feels anymore,
and those of us that do have
been turned into aliens for feeling,
feelings loudly.

Because we are alive.

Okay,
let's be a little real
for a second.
I know you didn't send me
that invite because you
wanted me to know,
or even go for that matter.
You did it for selfish reasons
in hopes that you'd win
a lap dance from one of those
strippers or something.
But, um,
how come I got the message
when we aren't even Facebook
friends?
So.. Thank you,
*******, for going out of your
way to remind me that you're
alive..
and that you have fingers.
Remember when you completely
blew me off,
and didn't say **** back to
that message?
The one I know you saw.
You could have skipped my name,
you could have some respect for
my ******* feelings,
you could have responded
and been a decent human being.

All I want to say to you is
Please ******* out of my life
forever.
And the funny thing is,
I'm sure you didn't even notice
that you just did something
really wrong.